Today I finished a project that was started before I even started the Race. As I was writing this out, I started to realize just how in-depth and entangled this story is. God writes such cool stories! Enjoy!
It all began a couple days before we left America. I was in leadership training in Atlanta, and our mentor asked us a question about how we wanted to grow over the next 11 months. I talked about how I often start little projects like memorizing scripture or something artsy, but I get frustrated, bored, or forgetful and never finish the project. I wanted to become someone who finished every big or little project that I started. At the time, I was really confused and a little embarrassed why that was the only thing I talked about. I brushed the memory off to the side thinking it was no big deal and it would probably never come up again.
Fast forward to our first month on the Race in Albania. Our ministry that month was painting murals at a kindergarten that our ministry hosts were about to open. The only spaces left to be painted were places where a projector couldn’t fit to map out the lines for the murals. Somehow it was mentioned that I liked to paint, so maybe I could just free hand draw all these intricate pictures our host had picked out to paint. I learned so much about trusting the Lord to guide my pencil that month, and we filled all the rest of the empty walls in the building with cute little pictures. My only frustration about that month was that I never got to finish any painting that I started. I would draw something, maybe start painting it, and then get called to start a new drawing somewhere else while someone else filled in the paints. I didn’t even get to finish my very last painting of Pooh Bear because we ran out of the paint color I needed.
Fast forward to month 7 when we were told that month 11 was going to look different than it usually does. There would be no more ministry placements, no more teams, no more of the other things we are normally required to do on a regular basis. Instead we could choose to use our time and resources to do whatever we felt the Lord was calling us to do. Month 11 felt like a long way away still, so I decided to wait until later to start praying about what month 11 would look like for me.
I started praying about what I should do for the last month of my race at the end of month 9 while we were in Zimbabwe and the Lord told me:
Paint a mural at an orphanage
Fast forward to the first week of month 11 in the Dominican Republic. I found some friends who also wanted to go to an orphanage, but we had no direction on where to go. So, I just kept praying about what to do. I knew I needed to paint a mural. I knew I wanted to start and finish it all by myself. I knew in order to paint a mural all on my own, I needed to find a wall and willing owner ASAP. The Lord even gave me a picture of me standing in front of an empty concrete wall getting ready to start painting that I considered confirmation. Through circumstances that are a long story all on their own, we got connected with a church that started taking us around Santo Domingo to visit all the ministries they partner with. Everywhere we went, I forced myself out of my comfort zone to ask if they had a wall I could paint a mural on. Over and over, I was told ‘no’ one way or the other.
When we only had 10 days left in Santo Domingo, I gave up. I felt defeated and disappointed. I was messaging a friend about how I didn’t think I heard the Lord right about what I was supposed to do this month. The moment I pushed send on that message, my girl Brit comes in the door and says, “Jenn! Did you hear? We found you a wall to paint!”
A group of people had gone to visit a boys home that was connected to a different church in Santo Domingo that day, and Brit asked if they had a wall they’d like a mural on. Not only did they have a wall, but they also had a closet full of fresh paint, new brushes, and everything else I needed! When asked what I should paint, the directors of the boy’s home said, “Whatever she wants. Maybe flowers?”
Flowers? For a boys home? No way.
The Lord usually speaks to me in visions, so I knew He would give me an idea of what He really wanted to be on that space. The clock was ticking though, and I had no ideas of what to do. I went to sleep the night before I was supposed to start painting slightly panicking because I only had 9 days left in Santo Domingo to put something on a wall with NO ideas. At 3AM I woke up wide awake and couldn’t fall back asleep. I decided to ask the Lord what was going on because I don’t normally wake up like this, and next thing I knew, my brain was filled with an image of a rocket ship that was half falling apart flying through a white portal and becoming shiny and new on the other side of the portal. I had the thought, “Oh, that’s cool. I can paint that.” Then I immediately fell back asleep.
After more asking of the Lord, I found out that this rocket ship is a picture of what life in Jesus is like. When you go through Jesus, you go from death to life. You become made new again even though the space around you might not change. It’s hard to explain what happens when you give your life to Jesus, but it changes everything!
A few hours later, I started the challenge of trying to get something really cool in my head to also look really cool on a wall. The boys at the home were all swarming me to look at the paints and use the paintbrushes as drumsticks on the cans. As I was trying to make sure they didn’t run away with my sketch, I stopped suddenly in shock and amazement. I remembered a dream – not déjà vu, a dream – about this EXACT moment a couple months ago. When I had the dream, it was during a time I was praying and asking the Lord for prophetic dreams because I never have dreams. Never ever. So why not ask for them? A dream about boys playing with paint cans didn’t make a lot of sense, so I forgot all about it… until it became a reality. Ok, God. I see you.
Over the course of the next week, I went back to the boys home six more times for about two hours at a time to work on my painting, and I learned so many lessons that wrapped up what I had been learning over the last 11 months that will continue to speak into my next season of life:
- I learned to trust in the Lord daily and in every moment to guide my hand to make the really difficult shape of a rocket ship – seriously so much harder than it seems.
- I learned to let go of my perfectionism and not focus on all the minor mistakes of the shape of the rocket ship and to rely on the Lord for peace and ideas.
- I learned to not kill curious, young boys who paint a black dot on your bright orange flame that was painted with a color you mixed and can’t replicate…
- I learned that when self-doubt comes on strong and I feel like quitting and crying and painting the whole wall back to the original color, I need to fight that doubt with worship.
- I learned to let down my pride, admit I couldn’t finish the mural in time on my own, and ask a friend to help me for a day.
- I learned that when you put three sassy artists together trying to trace out a diamond… things get dicey – sorry Annalea. So, I need to continue to work on my patience and showing respect in those moments when my vision just needs to be explained more in order to be understood.
- I learned I have really good, generous friends that are experts in distracting young boys who like to cross boundaries with card games, pool noodle jousting, basketball, and trying to speak Spanish back and forth.
- I learned that God even answers the prayers that we forget we asked for just because he enjoys us.
This project started with recognizing that I wanted to finish the things I started. This project has continued in so many ways that have shown me I want God to start and finish my projects because He’s better at it. This project isn’t finished yet because I know there is so much more to this story than the rocket ship.
For I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus – Philippians 1:6
Day 3
Day 5 – Annalea helped paint the diamond. She’s cool.
Day 6 – Finished!
