I could simply tell you that I am roughly 70% funded. I could give you a simple reason how my funds doubled nearly over night that would totally make sense. I could let you assume the money came from all sorts of places and people. Instead, I want to share a very precious and personal story about God’s goodness through the number 6,127.
For the past couple of months, I have been asking God how much of my own money I should put into my World Race fund if any at all. Pretty soon I had the number $6,000 stuck in my head, but I wasn’t sure if I just made up that number or if it was actually from God. I kept asking. I asked others to pray about it. Out of the blue, I was sitting in church last week and the reasoning behind $6,000 hit me like a storm rolling in that the weatherman never predicted.
Here’s the backstory:
For those who don’t know, my biological dad Dewey had leukemia and passed away when I was 3 years old. Losing my dad has easily been the worst pain I have ever had to deal with, and for most of my school age years I was angry at God for stealing my childhood, for not leaving me any of my own memories of my dad, and for leaving me in a dark and lonely place. The older I got, the more I let my emotions stew inside me and the more dramatic my claims against God got. During high school, God changed my perspective of my past when He brought me to Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love God and have been called according to his purpose.”
God started to reveal to me that yes, my dad dying was a terrible thing. However, God has always been filling in the gaps with blessings that are far greater than I will ever understand. See, my mom married Rod when I was 6, and not only was I blessed with another amazing man to call dad, I also got to have 3 sides of extended family, a total of 8 grandparents, and two more siblings. My new adopted extended family consisted of several cousins my age that lived nearby, and I got to grow up with best friends I could also call family. Different circumstances allowed me to experience public school, private school, home school, and online classes – each an experience that brought new people and situations into my life that were important in shaping who I am today.
Every single part of my life that could have been hard without my father was still being blessed, but the blessings didn’t stop there. Part of losing a parent so young for me meant the government started sending me social security checks to help support my upbringing. My mother, being the brilliant woman that she is, sent most of my checks into a college fund that ended up accumulating into a large chunk of money. The stipulation was that this money could ONLY be used for educational purposes not for personal use. So, I paid for 3 semesters of college and for student teaching abroad, but I still had a little money left over… $6,127 to be exact. That $6,000 sounds familiar doesn’t it? Hold on, there’s even more to the story.
Not only was my dad a huge reason why I was even able to go to college, but I valued getting a degree because it was something he valued as well. When my dad was young, he also came to inherit a large chunk of money but chose to use that money for drugs, alcohol, toys, and partying. In his late 20’s or early 30’s he came to know Jesus, and regretted wasting away all his money instead of using it for something good. Eventually, he did go back to college to get a degree, and even though school was difficult for him he LOVED learning and got straight A’s. I knew that going to college was something my dad and I both valued, so I treasured every moment even more.
When graduation came, I didn’t realize I would get so emotional. I kid you not, I cried 12 times within 36 hours – not cute little tears, but the ugly-water-faucet-hurts-your-gut kind of tears. I wanted my dad to be there to celebrate. I didn’t want a chapter of my life I knew we shared to be over. Something about growing up makes you realize how much you really need your parents, and I wanted a way for all three of my parents to be involved in my next adventure.
So, I’m sitting in church just like any other Sunday when Jesus casually nudges my elbow and nonchalantly says like it’s no big deal, “Here’s the answers you’ve been looking for.” Fireworks started going off in my head as each connection was made – $6,000 was the number that Jesus gave me, but is also my leftover college funds, college funds are from my dad, a blessing that came out of a tragedy, now that blessing from my dad was going to help me go on the World Race. GOD IS USING MY DAD TO HELP SEND ME ON THE WORLD RACE TO BLESS PEOPLE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. It’s been nearly 20 years since Dewey passed, but God’s still going to use his testimony through me to share about freedom and hope. I honestly couldn’t think of a better way to honor my dad’s memory.
I’ve gone back and forth about sharing this part of my story publicly, but eventually God called me out to remind me that it isn’t MY story. This is a story about God’s glorious goodness that I am called to share because someone out there needs to hear THIS specifically:
When God says he’s going to work ALL things together for good for his children, he really means it. Whether that good lasts a moment or leads to a rabbit trail of blessings. Whether you can see the good that has already come from your tragedy or still feel lost in the pain and confusion. Whether you are angry with God for what happened or have given up even asking why anymore. Hold on to hope, because He is a God that loves blessing His children, and He has not forgotten you.
