“Jamilyn, you hold power by the blood of the Lamb and the word of your testimony.”
Revelation 12:11 was spoken over me today ^^^ and I’m here to repent.
I know my words carry weight. I know my words are powerful. God reminds me again and again that He has given me a position of influence, not just in the future, one day, but right now. I want to repent because I have gone silent. I have not stepped into the power that the Lord has given me in my words. I have stepped back, slowed down, sat down, and chosen laziness and apathy. I’ve made excuses that I couldn’t put it into words, that I didn’t have time, or that I really didn’t know what to write about, when in reality all I needed to do was find a time and ask the Holy Spirit what He wanted to say and then sit down and write it out!
And here’s another huge thing that God has convicted me of in the last week: I’ve been letting laziness and apathy creep into my life with my relationship with God as well. I have let comfort become my god! Gross. It makes me want to puke… or flip a table.
Thank you Jesus for convicting me and pulling me out of the muck that I had stepped in.
I sat down last week to have some time with Jesus for the first time in a while and I felt OFF and distant. So turning to God, I asked “Lord why do I feel this way?” And I could feel Him respond…
“You slowed down.” And my heart dropped. I knew that I had. An analogy that me and God use often in our relationship is a sprint. Over the course of 5 years, He has called me out of my comfort zone, my bubble that I had settled into, and called me to run towards Him with everything that I have. Sometimes that looked like moving to Portland or quitting my job, and other times it was going on the World Race, or simply saying YES when He called. I have felt my sprint before in the past. I spent so many years being single because I was unwilling to settle for any man that wasn’t sprinting towards Jesus as fast as he could like I was, and going in the same direction.
But here in Spain, my sprint slowed to a jog, a walk, a STROLL if you must. Lol.
I LOVE being up early before anyone else is awake and I spent weeks sleeping through my alarm. I had chosen to take the time that I could sit in His presence or chase Him more for movies, hang outs, or just sitting on my phone. I got really excited about this man that I’m dating and realized I spent more time thinking about him than I did about the Lord, who was the One who gave him to me in the first place. I had subconsciously decided that my “chase” would reside in the classroom and they would do it for me. I would show up physically, but I wasn’t showing up spiritually.
GROSS. PUKE. SOMEONE FLIP A TABLE.
Once He had convicted me of what had happened in our relationship, I put my running shoes back on. I NEVER want to be someone who is not chasing God with everything that I am. I don’t want to be someone who strolls towards Him or meanders where I want but its in the same general direction as Him so its okay. NO. HECK NO GUYS. COME ON!
Can we be a people that runs towards God with everything that we have?! Can we be a generation that REFUSES to settle for anything less than a full, dead on, sprint?! We are not supposed to be people who find Him just on Sunday mornings in a building through a FEELING. He wants to reveal more of Himself to you EVERY SINGLE DAY. He wants every part of us. He wants an actual relationship, not a long distance phone call once a week. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Y’all notice all my CAPITOLS in these words?! I’M YELLING! I MEAN IT! SOMEONE FLIP A TABLE.
I’ve decided I am never going to be a person who is just going to go through the motions. I will not choose laziness and passivity. I CHOOSE to be someone who’s shoes WEAR OUT because I’m running so far and so fast toward my King. Because here is what I’ve realized in my chase towards Jesus, guys…
HE CHASES BACK!
IN FACT: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you.” John 15:16
He started chasing you first! You did NOTHING! Holy crap, guys… someone fliiiiiiippp a table. There’s no shadow He won’t like up, mountain He won’t climb, wall He won’t kick down, lie He won’t tear down coming after YOU. He actually wants to give you EVERYTHING. He is a good Father waiting for His children to come back to Him. But He’s also a gentleman, so He’s not going to force you, beg you, or scold you to come to Him- He will wait. He will continue to chase you but He will wait for you to take a step towards Him and He will take more giant steps towards you.
When you press in, God presses back. You want more of Him? Press in, get your best Nikes or Jordans on and start running. ****this analogy has NOTHING to do with a works based faith or striving to get to God (Ephesians 2:8-9). He is already right in front of you with His arms open. This analogy simply asks the questions: Do you actually want Him? Are you going to be a person that pushes aside laziness, passivity, and apathy and pursues a God who has been pursuing you since the dawn of time?
The second I decided to put my running shoes on and press in, oh boy did He press back! On Monday mornings we have prayer together as a school. We sit in silence and ask God if we have any grievances toward one another and if not, is there a word or prophecy that He would like to give to someone in the room. That morning, after a weekend of conviction and pressing in, 4 different people came up to me with words, verses, and prophecies, telling me of how excited God is about me and where I’m headed, how much He loves me, and where He is going to take me. I asked for more and He gave me more of Him.
I turned to my boyfriend and smiled and said “When you chase God, He chases back.”
Later this week while we were practicing church, the Director of G42, Ethan, came up to me with a vision: I was standing in front of a wall with a pickaxe and as I hit it, water came out like a faucet and I got so excited dancing around in the puddle it was making and saying “this is great!” But Ethan’s view was further back and he could see that the wall I was hitting was a GIANT dam and behind it a reservoir with an unending water supply. And he could feel God saying “Babe, you have no idea.”
I put on my running shoes, also known as taking a pickaxe to a dam and living water coming out. But if I continue chasing Him, pursuing this water supply, I’m in for a overwhelming, all consuming flood. I’m asking for more of Him and apparently He is giving me more than I could ever imagine.
Friends, if you want more of Him, simply ask. But don’t just sit back and wait. Press in and He presses back. Chase Him, and He chases you back. Put your running shoes on, pick up a pickaxe, or whatever analogy you need to GET UP- God has SOOOO much more for you. Take a look at your life, take it all and lay it out on a table and ask the question “Am I living a life that is chasing after Jesus?” And if not…
FLIP the dang table.
Come on out to the race toward Jesus. Truth is: our shoes never wear out.
All my love,
Jamilyn Joy
p.s. I also need to raise around $2,000 in less than 4 weeks in order to stay here at Generation 42 Leadership Academy. That’s around $70 a day. I’m trusting God to provide, but I need help from the body of Christ. If you love seeing what God is doing in me and would love to be on my team to help me spring after Him with everything I’ve got, would you consider supporting me financially to help me do that?
This place has changed my life and flipped all my tables. I would really like to stay. In all vulnerability and honesty, I have like $300 to my name that I’m using for food and supplies like soap and shampoo while I’m here, my entire tuition is based on support. I literally can’t do it without brothers and sisters in Christ who believe in me.
I know there are people out there who do. If you are one of them and would like to donate (ANYTHING helps) to help me stay, please consider some of the following ways:
– Donate directly to www.generation42.org/donations (scroll down till you see my face). You can sign up for a one time gift or a monthly gift (I have 7 months left of this journey).
– Buy a t-shirt or tank top to support my fundraiser! All proceeds go to my tuition. Check them out at https://www.bonfire.com/jamilynjoytotheworld/
The campaign goes for two more weeks!
– Donate by Venmo. My username is @JamilynJoy
– Adopt a box coming soon!
I don’t know who reads these, but I love you. I do. Thanks for supporting me by reading! And by praying and encouraging… and thanks for even CONSIDERING supporting me financially. You bless me in more ways than you know.
