Or at least that was my perspective last week.
I had plans. I had an idea of what my life would look like after the World Race.
Here was my list:
- Live at home with my parents to save money.
- Get a job in Suwanee, Georgia.
- Buy a car.
- Save more money.
- Maybe get a second job.
- Save more money.
- Make hilarious videos with my brother and cousins.
- Live near extended family for ONCE!
- Find a church and plug in.
- Start a website.
- Be a light to my family.
- Disciple my cousins
- Make friends.
- Save more money.
- Move out to California with my best friend when I was good and ready.
Now I want you to imagine God, right now, taking a BIG RED INK PEN and crossing out every single one of those things. How would you feel? Terrified? Check. Angry? Check. Confused? Check check and recheck!
Last week me and my squad came together for something called Project Searchlight (PSL). It is a one week conference back in Georgia one month after the race is done where we got to reunite, relate with one another on how home has been, process, and hear about new opportunities that could take place after the race. It was SO wonderful to see all my friends again, but the second I stepped onto that campus, a heaviness followed me around and I did not want to be there. I had no idea why.
My friends could see how moody I was, how I distanced and isolated myself from them, and rolled my eyes a time a two. I was so excited for this week, but the second I got there, I was lost. I could feel the heaviness and I was confused. When I sat with Jesus and asked Him what was up, He brought me to realize how difficult re-entry and being at home was. I hadn’t accepted that. He also was stirring in my heart and talking to me about my plans.
“What about my plans?”
“Did I bless those plans?”
When I thought about it, the answer was no; no He didn’t. I assumed. Me and my friends Grace had plans to live in our East Coast cities, save up money, get cars, and then move out to California together. It made sense where God was calling us, so we just had to go our separate ways for a spell and then head on over! Meanwhile over in Connecticut, Grace was receiving confirmation after confirmation about God wanting her to be home with her family on the East Coast. I kind of tagged along on her confirmations and thought we would have the same plan. When I sat down and thought about it, I have no received ONE about living in Georgia with family. It was all my doing.
And a big factor was my family. I wanted to be with them! We are super close, they are my best friends, they are walking through tough seasons and transitions and I wanted to be there for them. In fact, I thought God was calling me to be there for them!
God’s response?
“I did not call you to that. I call you to nothing but Myself.”
He also made me realize that I have put the responsibility of my family on my shoulders. Their well being, their happiness, their healing- I had picked it all up like Superman and tried to carry it all, feeling like it was my calling to be a light to them.
“That is not your job My daughter, that’s Mine. They are Mine.”
Suddenly as the week went on and God was pulling me out of my head and into communion and intimacy with Him, I watched as He took my plans and threw them out a 30 story window and we watched as they shattered. For the FIRST time in my life, I had absolutely NO idea what I was doing.
No money.
No job.
No direction.
No plans.
Shoot, my friends, that’s where your faith gets tested! It’s a scary place to be, but as your faith grows, it’s the most exciting! God knows my every need, He knows the desires of my heart, and He is not going to leave me empty handed. It was another test of surrender. I don’t want to hold on to MY plans or MY way of doing things- that’s not how I want to live my life! So there I was… empty. With nothing but Jesus.
I could feel, though, that God was calling me away again. As much as I want to say “Yeah I had total faith and this is a total God thing and I trust Him completely!” It’s not all like that. It kind of started with me being a 4 year old kicking and screaming. If He was calling me away again, it meant I would have to leave my family. The family that I had put on my shoulders that God was asking me to put at His feet.
Here’s the thing. I know my presence makes them happy. I know my words and prayers encourage them. I know my actions make them feel loved. I know I can make their day better in my own strength. MY MY MY… Do you see the pattern? God was asking a really hard question:
“Jamilyn, if I call you away, will you trust Me that I’m going to take care of them, whether you are there or not?”
Tears, tears and more tears. God reminded me of a story my dear friend Ashley told me on the race. She was in Nepal and walking down the streets of Kathmandu, and feeling like God was pulling her to a specific woman. She felt the prompting of the Holy Spirit to go talk to her, but Ashley’s nerves and doubt got in the way and she ended up not going. She was beating herself up about it later when she entered a restaurant for dinner and found another World Racer talking to that same girl and sharing the gospel. Ashley was floored that even in her disobedience, God still was reaching her, with or without Ashley. That story came to mind as God was reminding me who HE is and how really, yes, He is going to work through and take care of my family while I am gone, WITHOUT me.
So after many tears and questions and confused and anger, I said “Yeah, God, I trust You.”
And that’s when I felt like 2 giant boulders blocking my path with Jesus finally got pushed aside and I could see where He was taking me. I had to let go of my family and I had to let go of my plans and my timeline of what my life was going to look like.
I have a friend named Gary who co-founded and runs a program called Generation 42 Leadership Academy in Mijas, Spain. I was first introduced to this program in month 4 of my race in India when we got together with another World Race squad and put on a conference, and he was our speaker. I felt the pull there. People even prophesied it over me and I pushed it aside. God was calling me elsewhere. I had an idea of where I was going. A few months later when post World Race opportunities came back up in the conversation for the squad, the pull to G42 came back as well. This time I was praying about it, but ultimately said no because I didn’t want it to be just another adventure I was going on because I was afraid of being in the States. I also, STILL, had plans of my own. A few months later it comes up again and this time I ask my friends to pray with me. I said no again.
And here we are at Project Searchlight Conference, months later back in the States and this time God’s nudge was a LOT less gentle. Gary came and spoke again and I came to listen to his talk about this leadership program and when I asked questions, he could see God was wrecking all my plans and I gave him a lot of sass. I asked questions assuming that it wouldn’t work out for me and again it would be a no, but this time God provided people with similar passions and dreams like mine sitting right next to me in the seminar to squash all my doubts and worries.
After long tearful talks with Gary and his wonderful wife Lisa, my squad mentor, and some new friends who were in the G42 program, I joined Jesus in throwing out all my plans. I knew He was calling me here. Honestly what this program entails is the exact training I need for where He is taking me. It all makes sense.
And then when the idea of starting this program in 6 weeks hit me, I was like NO WAY JESUS. They have opening in September too so I could play it safe and wait. And it took one friend saying “Do what scares you the most.”
OH SHOOOOOOT.
So the next day I applied, 2 days ago in a bus station I interviewed and right then and there they accepted me.
Why G42 Leadership Academy?
My first response wants to be folding my arms and shouting back at you “I DON’T KNOW ASK GOD!” Hahaha but I’ve come a long way in a week. When I got off the race, I could feel how much deeper and stronger my faith was. The race set me up with SOOOO many tools and amazing things for my spiritual and kingdom building walk with God. BUT they kind of feel like a pile of wet cement on the ground in front of me. I don’t know how to navigate all the things I’ve learned and put them into the world God is calling me to. G42 Leadership Academy allows training to give me the proper leadership tools to take that wet cement and make something out of it!
I believe God has given me the gift of leadership. Many of you have seen that in me over the years, some of you have hired me or recruited me because you have seen that anointing on my life. I have natural leadership capabilities, I have been given some experience by the grace of God, but I have NEVER been trained in it. I know that God has called me as a leader, and in order to chase after that calling, I need training!
This is by FAR the craziest last minute thing I’ve done. God has taken the planner/control freak out of me and filled her with FAITH. It’s $10,000, it starts in 6 weeks. I have no idea what’s going on but I’m excited.
You’ll see more of my heart in future posts and blogs coming your way, as well as some CRAZZZYYYY fundraising that’s gotta happen all over again. If He can provide $20,000 in 3 months for the World Race, I think He can provide half that amount in half the time. God is cool. I’m gunna keep following Him if that’s okay.
All my love,
Jamilyn Joy
P.s. FIRST FUNDRAISER UP AND RUNNING! I’m selling HILARIOUS t-shirts, tank tops, and sweatshirts with my life motto on it 😉 Check it out! Gotta get the taco love in their somewhere haha.
https://www.bonfire.com/jamilynjoytotheworld
Some more info from their website to peek your curiosity:
“G42 Leadership Academy is a 9 month training program designed to transform, challenge perspectives, train and mobilize Christ-like leaders to reveal the Kingdom of God around the world. Our graduates and their communities, know who they are in Christ and reverse oppression wherever they work, live and go.
Personal Transformation:
- New perspectives that challenge, reframe and solidify your faith.
- Revealing and unleashing your unique God identity.
- Intimate classroom settings and 1-on-1 relationships with teachers and leaders.
- Community living.
- Understanding God’s point and your role in it.
Program Overview:
9 months separated into 3 trimesters
First Trimester: Training
In the classroom in Mijas, Spain. Teachings in the first 3 months are focused on the core teachings of Christ, and becoming men and women who cannot be stopped in our pursuit of Christ and His Kingdom.
Second Trimester: Practicum
On the mission field, practicing and applying the concepts taught in the first 3 months and actively living out the way of Jesus. Interns will practice living above the fog, not circumstantial or emotionally, as they release the Kingdom of God.
Thirst Trimester: Solidifying
Back in the classroom solidifying lessons, sharing practicum lessons, and celebrating together. Teaching will focus on practical application and preparing intern to launch into a new way of life after G42.
Lifestyle of an Intern:
Community Living- Interns live in traditional Spanish homes together. Living as a family is a fundamental practice of growth, stretching, and grace. The kitchen table is the center of the community; meals are eaten together as a family by house.
Practice- Practicums are the time of the program to practice what you’ve been taught; interns will have an honest time to apply teachings, and return to Mijas to debrief and solidify their faith as they prepare to return to regular life.
Impartation- Interns have class four and a half days a week, Monday through Friday morning. Each week there is a new leader teaching on a particular subject they seek to impart to the interns.”
www.generation42.org
