The title speaks for itself but this California girl has always been used to doing things on her own for a long… long time. Here in Haiti on the World Race, we do everything in community. And I mean everything. I don’t feel like I have had a good community since the beginning of college. That was 5 years ago. I also have never lived with this many people in such a small place. College dorms don’t compare! It’s all new adventures over here in Mirebalais.
I have always been an independent soul, wanting to do my own thing and be my own person. I have desired to be different from my brothers and have striven to be as independent from my parents as possible in different times of my life. I have not been afraid to do my own thing, go against the norm, travel on my own, whatever it means to be independent. I feel I am more myself when I am single and all I need to do is just focus on me and my relationship with the Lord. That’s my prime.
So now, imagine the conflict of putting Miss Independent on a squad of 40 people, a team of 6, and then put her in the middle of Haiti in a small apartment with 20 people and one bathroom. You have to think of more than just yourself. That means breaking a habit of almost 24 years.
Here we have responsibilities and ways that we each need to contribute to the team. We are working together, living together, cooking and cleaning, and almost every other thing you find in the day to day- together.
I do my hand washing laundry with Ashley,
my workouts with Anna,
my cooking with Chandler,
my Bible Study with Mike,
my bus rides with Haley,
my quiet time with Blaire,
my creative time with Megan,
and brushing my teeth with anyone who is watching in the kitchen,
and so on and so forth.
The introverts go a little insane trying to find alone time. You’ll find them sitting in the hallway trying to tune out the crazy with headphones in and their Bible open.
Now because I have been in the habit of taking care of myself and only me, my mindset has been hard to switch. I’m thankful for the teammates that have called me out on my selfishness and independence when I need to be thinking of the group as a whole. This involves communication, doing my part in cooking and cleaning (even though it is not my strength), being patient, and looking to the good of the whole team, not just myself. Sometimes I find myself in my own world and the Lord needs to pull me out so I see the people around me. I haven’t communicated, I haven’t contributed to cooking and cleaning, I don’t think to ask other people to join me when I head out to do something, and this doesn’t help build up my community here if I continue this way.
I think community living is what the Lord intended. If I have learned anything from my Theology professor in college is that God is all about relationships. He desires relationship with us, He created us to be in relationship as husbands and wives, He encourages us and sometimes commands us to be in fellowship with each other spurring each other on, and the best one?! He Himself IS a relationship as the Trinity- Father, Son, and Spirit. He has shown me the benefits of relationships and community and has begged me in my prayer time to not only be thinking of others and be aware of them, but also be constantly thinking of Him in my day to day.
There have been a lot of times in my life where being Miss Independent worked well. While most of my friends pursued marriage, I pursued missions and lived to only worry about myself and what God had for me. I lived by and preached 1 Corinthians 7 for years. It talks about the benefits of being single, living simply to please the Lord and being free from anxieties. That is not the role I need to play now. My passages to live out now need to be Ephesians 4 or Philippians 2 (living in unity in the Body of Christ and living in humility). Miss Independent needs to disappear. Miss Fellowship, Miss Community, Miss Live-In-Relationship is who I want to work to be.
Goodbye Miss Independent.
Abba,
You have given me an incredible community here on my World Race team. I do not take them for granted. They sharpen me, spur me on, and make me a better follower of You. Help me in my selfishness to be someone who looks “not only to [my] own interests but also to the interests of others.” You’ve gifted me with the ability to be independent and to be confident in that way, but help build in me the habit of living in community, as you intended. This is going to be a treasured strength I will have coming from the race to use for the rest of my life. I’ve got 11 more months with these goons! Let’s dive in.
Forever Yours,
JJ
Some proof of this community lifestyle:
Also, these teams attempted to play soccer with the locals and let’s just say it turned out pretty interesting…
