The first 2 weeks in Ecuador, my team and I traveled to a farm on the outskirts of Quito to scoop horse poop, shovel dirt and pull lots & lots of weeds. All for Jesus! The cool thing about this is that everything we have done these last 2 weeks have influenced His kingdom in SO many different ways. This farm is connected to an organization called Camp Hope which is dedicated to helping people with disabilities get physical therapy, a good meal and just enjoy life! My team and I will be volunteering at this camp for the next week and a half. God bringing me to this farm has also been such a blessing because my team and I have gotten to know the only 2 people who live on this farm and don’t know a lick of English. Diana and Edgar are cousins who help keep the farm up and running. We got to hear their stories and enjoy 3 meals with them, Diana even taught us how to make arepas and empanadas! Not only has God when working in these ways but He has also provided me the time and space to just sit and think. To just stop and intentionally listen for His voice. I’m also learning that listening and obeying are 2 completely different things. Obeying Him involves an action while listening is just hearing Him. I just finished the book of Exodus and I am currently in Leviticus. Jesus is teaching me so many things throughout these books but something that really stuck out to me was how human Moses is. I relate to Moses so much because of how ignorant I can be.
But Moses said the LORD, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow to speech and of tongue.” Then the LORD said to him, “Who has made mans mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the LORD? Now therefore go, and I will be with your mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” Exodus 4: 10-12
Wow did I need to hear this. It is so not my right to question God, but I am human and He knows I will continue to do it but His grace is SO sufficient. I am also so grateful that the God of the universe wants to be with me daily, in every single moment! He desires for us to call His name daily, to die daily and say, “Jesus I can’t do anything on my own.” But, we all still continue to hold fear and worry in our hearts.
But he said, “Oh, my Lord, please send someone else.” Exodus 4: 13
This is so me! My fear takes over and I feel so unequipped to do any works for God, and quite frankly I’m not; but He makes me equipped. He will be my mouth. What a loving and gracious Father! Later in Moses’ life, regardless of any doubts he had in his heart at the beginning, he took a step of faith and obeyed God. He let God consume his heart so that he could be used for the kingdom when God sent the ten plagues, when he lead the people of Israel through the Red Sea and when He continued to provide for all His people thereafter with the exact amount of food needed.
God began revealing His voice to me in 5th grade through dreams and hearing His words in my head, even though I still continued to try and take the credit for making good choices and such, it was all Him. But, although I have been actively listening for His voice for 8 years doesn’t mean that I always obeyed. It wasn’t really my choice to hear God talk to me because He decides when to speak to me but I do have a choice in choosing to actually live out what He is teaching me or telling me to do.
Right before I left for this farm for 2 weeks, I was talking to God about how excited I was to finally get lots of silence and time with Him. I began listing all these expectations of being here, but soon after my mind was done running with ideas I had to stop and ask Jesus what He wanted for me these next 2 weeks. And he said, “be still with me.” He also gave me the word intentional, and wow was it SO good. He revealed many, many things to me about who I saw myself compared to who He created me to be. I have to remember to intentionally listen and obey the things He is telling me and act on it so that I can be used by Him!
