Recently I’ve become kind of obsessed (sorry team) with the song “The Garden” by Kari Jobe. And I mean obsessed to the point of planning my next tattoo around it. I’m not sure if the song really is that incredibly written or just speaks to me on some deep spiritual level, but every time I hear it I have to stop what I’m doing, sit down, close my eyes, and soak in all its goodness.
The picture that it paints in my mind is so incredibly beautiful and I will never be able to do it justice by describing it, but I’m going to try. Because truthfully, it often brings me to tears.
I’m not entirely sure, but I don’t believe that anyone really manages to escape a period of “the dark days” throughout life. Those days when you just feel broken. The days you feel like you have so little to cling to and tears can’t manage to stay out of your eyes for more than a day.
I’d be lying if I said I never had moments were I didn’t doubt God’s goodness or even God, and I became desperate for some sort of demonstration of love or even kindness. You know… all the qualities of God. And that’s where the garden comes in.
The song paints the picture of your soul, dark and twisted, full of ash, but then overcome by God bringing redemption, faith, hope… the things that are so easily torn away from us.
And the most beautiful part is that all these things take time. You can’t just ask for them and they become apart of you, you have to grow it inside of you and intertwine them together all while cleaning out the the dirt and built up walls.
My life has been full of sin that I never thought would be my sin. I often tried to find acceptance outside of my God and the things that He calls good. Peer pressure is so easy to succumb to when your souls deepest desires are not of the Lord. Knowing who you are in the Lord is the best thing and greatest advice I could ever give.
So the picture of the garden using my shame to cultivate beauty is very powerful for me. I am better able to understand the grace that God has for us and then also extend grace to the people that are in my community.
The picture that plays out in my mind is more like a movie. I see my heart and my mind and my soul dark and depleted full of hate and fighting and sadness. But there is this ever present feeling or idea of something greater, and I’ve finally reached the point of complete brokenness that the only thing I know how to do is cry out to God and beg for His peace to fill my mind.
And that’s when it starts to happen.
Ivy starts to push itself through all the walls that I’ve built up and light begins to push though the darkness and cleanse itself of the ash. And I can visually see my soul and my thoughts turning into a garden. I see that God has always been there and has been so faithful and eager to heal my broken soul.
I picture even more ivy growing up towards the light as my faith increases. Hope and love are stirring inside of me striving to make things right and lift me from sorrow. I see God physically picking every lie, moment of torment, the fears and worry… and throwing them out and crushing them and showering me with His perfect love.
The trees of my soul begin to grow as I continue to believe that I have been redeemed. And all of the seeds that are planted and their reasons are because of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.
My God is so good and He daily pursues me. I’m so pumped to experience all the growth that He has in store for me.
Love,
Banana
