Hello and thanks for taking the time to read this new blog post! If you don’t already know, I am on the World Race! This is nine months of mission work in six different countries (India, Nepal, Zambia, Zimbabwe, Malawi, Ecuador), and right now I am in southeast India near the Bay of Bengal.
So what has happened since last writing? (a valid question)
I have been through numerous days of ministry, now getting a common routine down with my team and ministry hosts (who are the coolest hosts), and through it we’ve had quite the time together. Yesterday afternoon we celebrated Anand’s birthday at a very eclectic and quite delicious ice-cream shop, where two of my ice cream flavors were quite mysterious!! We have been to the store a couple times because our team feels the need to spoil themselves with snacks again and again, and we have seen a large range of what our city looks like. We have seen the busy parts full of life and traffic, and we have been through the empty areas in the middle of no where, surrounded by rice paddies and cows.
So let me give you a run down of how the day usually goes for me.
I wake up around 7:30 am, usually contemplate over the fact I have yet another day to conquer, and then, after itching all my bug bites and questioning my purpose here, I make my way down to breakfast and eat either toast, rice, eggs, or nothing.. but always tea! Usually this is when I sit around and wait for time to move a little faster. For you see, I don’t have ministry ’till usually 4:00 pm or 5:00, so my mornings and afternoons are long and quite boring (while we are stuck inside the compound for this time). Fear not, for it is not all a waste! Usually in the morning I take a good chunk of time to write in my journal, whether that be thoughts, reflections, poems, or complaints, and also find time for meditation in prayer and in the Word. Right now I am reading through Isaiah, Ecclesiastes, and Hebrews and really enjoying them! So after all that, usually at 10 am we have squad time, where we pray, worship, and listen to our SQL’s (squad leaders) talk about the Word among other applications, etc. Then we break into team time, where it is just us, The Becomers, talking about the subject matter of the day. Some days it will be about feedback, others it will be blog writing, and usually talking about some prompt the SQL gave us during squad time. By the time this is finished, theoretically lunch should be ready at 12, but usually we wait an hour or so for it to actually be ready. And yes, lunch is usually rice, curry, and eggs with maybe something special… like potatoes.
So after lunch we wait around for about four hours until we leave for MINISTRY! We leave generally around 4:00 pm, but sometimes later and usually our destination is about 40 mins away. So our ‘work hours’ are from 4pm- 10 or 11pm.
Ministry goes pretty much like this: we drive for a long time, see a bunch of things but usually just farms, then we get to ministry and sit in chairs while we are greeted by smiling children and adults in the church, then we worship with the congregation for about an hour or so (all in Telegu), and then one of us gives a testimony and another a sermon, then we finish and pray for people individually, and then we go somewhere near or in the church to eat, where usually they give us so so much food! (usually this is rice, samba, chicken, and a Thums Up drink). Then we drive home and fall asleep in the car after singing to some car tunes.
Of course that was quite summarized, but I will go into detail the more I write, and soonish I will be posting lots of pictures!
Now, let’s get real.
Honestly it has been a struggle. I have contemplated many times over what my purpose is here, are we actually doing any work, and am I actually much value added to the team/squad. With so many fantastic members it can be really hard to feel like I have much value to add. It is also really hard to feel like I have a purpose here when we are cooped up in this compound for most of the day, every day, and this is affecting everyone. I would say that my connection with my team is going swimmingly well and that we can conquer the world with our amazing spiritual synchronization, but for me, alas it is not the case. Of course I love my team, but more than often I do feel I cannot have the same intimacy they all share with one another, the same groove of things, and I know I am different in many ways, but I did think that I wouldn’t have trouble with this during the race. Yes we all get along and we have fun together, but I do feel there is something missing, at least for me that is.
I’ll admit, squad month is a monster sometimes. It seems like there is a lot of competition when there does not need to be. It seems there is an underlying matter at hand that has not been confronted or figured. And some things seems like one thing and are actually another, and this could just be me freaking out or making things more dramatic than they seem. Who knows really.
I have been in prayer about my attitude, perspective, and overall pride, as that is something I wrestle with often. I pray that God will shed some light on why I am feeling so distant or disconnected, or why I am feeling so disappointed in myself often. I suppose this is the forces of Satan attacking me, trying to tear down what God has so beautifully created, and I suppose that I should not fret for my fear is not in the forces of darkness, but only in the Lord. Either way I am struggling quite a bit and hopefully I haven’t said more than I need to, but this is where I am at and all the prayer in the world would help surely, as our God is great and giving to his children.
So things to pray for: my outlook/perspective, my pride, our squad/team as a whole, patience and understanding, the messages of the speakers of the given night, the people of India that they would hear the truth clearly, that the hearts of the people would be changed for Christ, that our hearts stay focused on Christ and the mission, and that our squad would love each other more and more everyday.
If this blog post sounds like our squad and team are in a complete civil war, that is not the case, as there are just things I am concerned about and that the Spirit has put on my heart. Of course we are all getting along quite well and still love the Lord and mission greatly, but as any community goes, there are squabbles and gossip and etc. So just pray for that!
Final words… Thank you for reading this post, as this is really the first post where I have sort of poured out my thoughts and reflections, truly. Encouragement is much needed for all of us. I will be posting either this weekend or next Tuesday when I have wifi again.
God Bless!
Garrett Stoecker
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the Lord. -Isaiah 55:8
