There have been many funny moments we’ve experienced living on mission abroad that just don’t happen at home. All of these statements are from actual experiences from either myself or the other 18 people on my squad. Enjoy!
You know you’re on the World Race when…
1. You pee your pants in the middle of the street, or from laughing too hard or you’re in the middle of nowhere.
2. You’re eating cereal out of a plastic bag with a broken spoon.
3. The default flavor of ice-cream isn’t vanilla, instead it’s Coconut, Mango, or something else weird.
4. There are chacos cooling off in the freezer, because they were boiled and you have to leave soon.
5. You’re sitting by the pool and a man starts hacking away tree branches with a clever.
6. You sleep on the cold, hard, concrete floor of a bus station garage because you arrived to the country at 4am.
7. Ice cream and cake are served with sprinkled cheese on top.
8. Travel day is more like travel week.
9. You try to ride a bike for the first time in 13 years and crash 3 times: into a tree branch, on someone’s moto in the road, and head first into a tree in a ditch full of trash.
10. You get excited for a 16hr bus ride to your next country, because it’s ONLY 16hrs.
11. A family of geese chase you everyday because they have a vendetta against you since you hit them with a flipflop.
12. You have no running water in your bathroom.
13. Public transportation has speakers that spark.
14. Your light switch shocks you.
15. There are scorpions in your room.
16. You have to walk 40 minutes to get okay wifi.
17. When your bathroom is an outhouse and a wooden box with a curtain that flies open for a shower.
18. You get excited when your hostel or host provides atleast 1 of the following: towel, toilet paper, or soap.
19. Potatoes and rice have been in every single meal for the last 3 months.
20. There are rollie pollies in all of your bags.
21. You have peed or pooped your pants at least once.
22. A spider drops a web from your chin.
23. You are cleaning bloody meat freezers with a knife.
24. The shower turns on while you’re using the toilet in the middle of the night, won’t turn off, and floods the bedroom nextdoor.
25. You rub a banana peel on your bug bites because you don’t have itch cream in your village.
26. A car alarm means your food is ready.
27. You are dusting with clean diapers.
28. The sound of jingle bells means a man is selling chicken sate on your street.
29. You stir your food with a tree branch.
30. You’re eating out more than you ever have in your life.
31. You’re living with 150 mosquitoes in your hostel room, no exaggeration.
32. Hand towels are not a thing, anywhere.
33. You think you’re finally alone but then notice a man is in the palm tree behind you.
34. A high pitch annoying whistle means that a man is selling a coconut rice dessert on your street.
35. You almost poop in a Pringles can on the bus because who knows when the bus driver will stop for the bathroom.
36. Your ankles are swollen 3x the normal size during travel days.
37. You tenderize your meat by beating it with a rock.
38. There’s karoke on your night bus and passengers start singing on the mic.
39. Your ears ring every time a Hydroflask waterbottle hits the floor.
40. All of your showers that month have been ice cold to where you can see your breath.
41. You get motion sickness for the very first time.
42. You’ve been told you need an anal exam in a foreign country.
43. You shout “SAH-TEH” from inside your house and food comes to your door.
44. You get sick every month.
45. It’s 4 am and you are woken up from the Muslim call to prayer.
46. You are suppose to be prayer walking but actually you are prayer swimming in the streets because it’s rainy season.
47. There’s a spatula in your outhouse in case you get locked in from the outside.
48. You move a sheet of metal and fall straight into a sewage well and you’re covered in crap.
49. You travel 65hrs by bus to get from one country to another, when it takes only 2hrs by plane, because of AIM’s rules.
50. The sound of a dog squeaky toy means someone is selling either snails or peanuts on your street.
