Breaking in the Brokenness
We have been on the Race for about five days now and my heart has been all over the board. Ministry has begun and our whole squad is falling in love with our ministry hosts Vicki and Rueben. The days have been full of serving around the property, helping out with administrative activities, cleaning and serving our teammates, and reaching out to the community. The switch between America and a new country is never easy. I am taking the first few weeks to “break in” this new lifestyle. After visiting a children’s home yesterday, I came back to the host site feeling broken. My heart hurt for the kids I had seen. The little hands and feet that are cracked and scabbed. The big eyes who longed for the water in my bottle. Sitting in the heartache, the Lord began to reveal to me just how badly I needed to “break in my brokenness” not only for the next nine months but for the rest of my life. The feeling in my heart was not necessarily something to feel bad about, but something to use as a springboard for my ministry. I am able to sit in the heart-aching conviction as a I go into ministry here on the Race and in everyday life. And while I feel as though I am breaking, God is making me whole. He acknowledges the flaws and imperfections and continually pursues me as I continue to pursue Him. Before we launched out of America, we (Racers) were given keys for our journeys with words on them that they felt God has given each of us. My word is “worthy.” I feel God is giving me a new perception of the word and with each country I visit a new and deeper understanding will be revealed. Ephesians 4 has been placed on my heart around the word “worthy” as I begin the Race. “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Eph. 4:1-2” Physically wearing the word “worthy” around my neck everyday serves as a constant reminder to be gentle. To be kind. To walk in love. To be patient. By practicing these qualities, I am living the life worthy of the calling I was given by God. By honoring these qualities, I am honoring God. In the next month I hope God will bring me back to Ephesians 4 and remind me that I am equipped and worthy of this life. I am praying for all of you at home that you would feel the same. Broken in conviction and worthy of the call that God has placed in front of you.
