Hello from the good old United States of America!
Okay. Let’s be real. There has definitely been more than one time that I have forgotten to blog. But this is kind of unacceptable. I mean. It’s been FOUR months. So, for that, I deeply apologize. But let’s jump right in!
Let me start off by saying, holy cow. It has been the wildest, most emotional almost four months ever. The Race is insane. You can read about it in previous blogs…but dang. Re-entry is like nothing I ever expected. I have spent many nights in a row, scrolling through pictures from the Race, wondering when I’ll ever do something adventurous and exciting again. There was a whole period of the summer before school started when I truly believed there was no purpose for me at home. I used to call my squadmates and tear up once they hung up. I’ve wondered why community has been so hard to come by when relationships were so easy to develop on the field. The whole idea in college that “it’s all about me, all the time” was culture shock in itself. There has been so much loneliness and frustration. It was so easy to slip back into the toxic thoughts I remembered from before the transformation and life I experienced on the Race.
But it’s almost October now. Something has changed. Despite how rough and, sometimes, painful re-entry has been, I have noticed that there is a little something out of the ordinary now that I’ve come back home after being on my own for nine months. My viewpoint on life has become so much broader. I recognize now when I’m starting to feel anxious or drained, and I know what I need to do to re-fill myself. People are so beautiful to me now. Instead of taking the bus every morning and just going through the motions, I find myself taking time to notice the intricacies in people and call out the things I notice in them. Their smile, the way their eyes light up when they talk about something they believe in, how brave they were to volunteer to speak first in class when no one else wanted to. There is an awareness in me that I have picked up on, that slowly grew in me. Amidst the heat of India, the dustiness of Nepalese air, tea breaks in Ukraine, practicing handstands and backbends in a school courtyard with third graders in Chile…God planted this little seed of awareness and gratitude in me that I am so grateful for. He has given me all the tools to access Him in this crazy new life I live in the U.S. He is everywhere. And now, four months later, I feel like, little by little, He is finally letting me in on this insane plan He has for me at home.
So. Where am I now?
Well, friends, I currently live at home with my sweet, wonderful family in the town I grew up in: Superior, Colorado. I am a student at the University of Colorado in Boulder, studying to be a theatre major (and hopefully I’ll be able to get into their stage management program #techies4life) and also trying to earn my Teaching English as a Second Language certificate. As of right now, I don’t have any wild traveling plans, but, honestly, that’s okay. I have been planted here. At home. In Colorado. And there is a reason and a plan that I’ll never see coming. Something that is way bigger than me. After four months, I’m finally beginning to open my arms and embrace my present, my now.
And with that, I leave you with gratitude. Thank you so much for following my journey and supporting me through every single month of this adventure. Thank you for keeping up with these blogs, even though they are scarce. It truly means the world to me to be surrounded by a group of people who genuinely care and keep coming back to hear the Lord’s story through my meager words. I hope to update you more on re-entry thoughts, so keep an eye out for that!
Until next time,
Emma
