About 2 weeks ago, my dad, Calvin, and my stepmom, Tina came all the way to India to spend a week learning about life on the Race and doing ministry with me. I asked my dad to write a blog about his experience and here it is! Enjoy!
They Ruined My Daughter
While there had been inklings through blog and Facebook posts that something was amiss, it was not until the Parent Vision Trip that I was able to see first hand what I had suspected: the Gap Year was ruining my daughter! I couldn’t be happier!
Consider, for example, her diet. I know that many parents are expecting their racers to come home craving their favorite foods from childhood. After all the rice and potatoes they have eaten over these months on the race, something familiar will be very appetizing to them. In our house, a crock pot filled with grandma’s homemade spaghetti sauce is sure to be a hit! At some point, however, I imagine Elizabeth will start longing for some of the spices that she has experienced while on the race. She’ll want me to start cooking exotic international foods with foreign spices and make them taste just like her homes for the last nine months. Her American palate has been ruined! And I love it!
Then there is the matter of where she fits in the family. Every member of every family has a role that they fill. Most often, we have no idea what that role is or how we fulfill our role. We all just “do our part.” As long as everyone “stays the same,” the family stays the same as well. The race took Elizabeth out of the system and gave her the opportunity to explore who she is apart from the family. When she comes home, she will no longer “fit” into her old role and our family will need to change to accommodate the new her. This is AWESOME! We sat down one night on the top floor of a seminary overlooking the town of Sielmat and she fired questions at me, asking me to help her “fill in the blanks” of her memory and her understanding. I, in turn, was able to ask questions of my own. I was amazed by how well she understood herself and how confident she was in herself. The race ruined my little girl by turning her into an amazing young lady!
If all of this were not convincing enough, the race ruined my daughter’s chances for having a “normal” life. When she was younger, she could dream about her future and what she wanted to accomplish. Her dreams were for work, recreation and future family were pretty normal. Now when she retreats into silence, there is another voice that greets her. She has learned to walk with God, listening for His voice, seeking His wisdom and basking in His love. Her earlier dreams have been ruined!
When I think of the “ruins” of Elizabeth’s life, I think of the song, “Ruins,” by Bebo Norman. In my life, I’ve thought of the ruins as being a bad thing. Having God build on “what’s left of my broken heart” felt redemptive and hopeful. For Elizabeth, there has been some heartache in the “ruining” of her life. But I think it’s fair to say that we both experience a great deal of peace, faith and joy as we watch God’s handiwork reveal itself in her life. They ruined my daughter…and for that, I’m thankful.
I’ve no fear of height or depth
I’ve no fear of crashing
The single thing I fear the most
Simply feeling nothing
this is my holy hour, this is my world on fire
This is my desperate play, this is where I am made
this is my kingdom come, this is my freedom song
This is my helpless state, this is where I am saved
let my ruins become the ground you build upon
Let my ruins become the start
Let my ruins become the ground you build it on
From what’s left of my broken heart
