It’s been a little under a month since I left training camp and I’ve felt so compelled to write a blog but I just didn’t know what to write about. I feel since I’ve been home, I’ve been searching for the Lord rather than allowing Him to show up when His timing is right. And giving those words life now and allowing them to be REAL now that I’m expressing those feelings, I feel a tad hypocritical. Lemme back it up a bit;
A few days into training camp my rockstar of a team leader Lucie, said she wanted to walk through any piece of scripture I felt the Lord placing on my heart, with me, hand in hand. Of course I start to look for a sign in any and everything the Lord would give me to walk through because I was just THAT eager. I looked high and low for a sign, when I kinda quit searching so hard, and gave it to Him to place on my heart Himself, it hit me. Mid worship. I sprint to the back of the room where I know Lucie is sitting. “John 2. Luc, it’s John 2” she looked at me and knew exactly what it was that had me so excited. She asked if I was completely 100% sure this was what HE’d placed on my heart rather than something I just pulled outta thin air, fully confident I assured her and I, was, ready. “Go grab your bible and let’s see what John 2 is,” back inside I went, trying to be as slick as possible without bumping anyone trying to worship. Bible in hand, I sprint back outside, legs moving faster than my body, ready to see what it was we were about to walk through.. We flip the pages and the title of John 2 reads “Jesus Changes Water into Wine.” The first miracle that He performs on the ground that His earth provides.. Cool, BRING IT!! Lucie tells me shes ready to walk through it WHENEVER I am. Whether that be today, tomorrow, weeks or months from now, she’s ready to meet me where I’m at. (one of the many reasons why i love the life outta that lady, she’s so ready. even when she’s not, she is. super flowy, i’d say)
Words don’t due justice all that training camp had to offer, but in the midst of working through all of the unfelt feelings I had that were flooding the gates I’d put up around my heart, time escaped the both of us and next thing we knew, training camp was over. Unspoken words lingered my tongue and thoughts that I was unable to express twirled in my mind leaving training camp that day. I sat in admiration of all the flashy ways I met the Lord those 10 days. In listening prayer, prophecy, in the people that surrounded me, in the nature all around, in every session and sermon, speakers, and squads, in mentors, leaders, world race alum, you name it; I saw a little bit of Him in it all. And then the flowing water of ideas and thoughts that never stop, dropped me off to a little sign in my brain that read “John 2”. What does it say? What could I learn from it? What does it mean? The questions seemed to never end. I was eager to find out. I had a few days left in Georgia post training camp before I moved back to Las Vegas so I spent those last few days sharing special moments with all the people I love that I wouldn’t get to see again til’ launch.
I’m a reflector, if you couldn’t tell, I reflect on EVERYTHING. I find meaning in the smallest things, the way the grass grows, and how flowers reach for the sun when they’re in the shade, the way ants work together to create a world we can’t see, everything, I mean everything. Words have so much power to them when they’re used in the right context so all I wanted to do in the days following training camp was articulate words.
I finally did, and I got all of my thoughts out down on paper, and then I was able to dive right into John 2. Lucie texted me a few questions about the passage, she told me to take notes on whatever I came up with and then we’d share what we learned with one another. I read it a solid 3 times until I was able to form thoughts on what I’d read, and then … Boom. I grabbed my journal and began to write. The first thing that stood out to me was John 2:4 when Jesus’ mother lets Him know there’s no more wine at the wedding, Jesus says to her “Woman why do you involve me? … My hour has not yet come” I read that and I was like “shoot Mary why you gotta be impatient like that, let the man perform His miracles on His own time, not yours, His.”
If you go back to the intro of this blog I talk about how I was feelin a tad hypocritical and this is why;
I am just like Mary in this situation, impatient, and expectant of the Lord to move mountains when I need, rather than when He chooses to. Recently, I’m both impatient AND expectant What’s goin on Das???!!!!! We were doin so well at training camp, what happened!! Well you see, like I said early on the Lord was flashy at training camp, He did big things in my heart and the hearts around me, you could feel it in the air, see it in a smile, hear it in a laugh. You knew everyone was exceptionally different at training camp. It was fragrant. Coming home to a place I lack in genuine friendship is hard. Especially being surrounded by genuine friendship my first two months of summer. And even harder when I can rely on those genuine friends to lead me in the direction the Lord wants me in. They always say the weeks in-between training camp and launch are the hardest. I didn’t understand until I got home, that they were, indeed, the hardest. They’re lonely because how do you possibly explain all the good that came from training camp, how do you try and fit in with people and in group settings when you’ve FOUND YOUR PEOPLE. You wrestle back and forth with doubt and temptation as they tag team up against you in every situation that goes south, you get lazy about spending time with Him, the list goes on. I’ve struggled, and the worst part of it all? I had words for what not to do, the second i got home, i wrote them down, and never looked back on em. So this blog here is what I learned reading in that specail time i spent with our dad. It’s for me, it’s for you doubters, you slackers, you racers that struggle, it’s for you people that struggle;;; this is. For us.
1. High expectations of an even higher God
We are expectant people, we are people of instant gratification, we want something we want it now, even if we’re too lazy to get it, we want someone else to do it for us. For example; grocery shop, there are now apps for your phone in which you can grocery shop and get groceries delivered right to your doorstep. WHAT??!!! We are lazy people and we’ve got expectations of our groceries to be dropped off to our front porch on Monday afternoon, yet that’s not what we always get. What if they wanna be sent in via drone or parachuted outta the sky, wait, get this!!!! What if we had to GO GET THEM!!!!! Our expectations of God are routine, we meet Him in worship on Sunday, we hear good good stuff through our pastors and come back next sunday just waiting. Except that’s not at all how faith works. To be people of faith we must be receptive to everything the Lord places in front of our own two eyes. Because if we spend everyday going through the motions only to get to Sunday to repeat it over again, faith starts to lose the authenticity of it all, and we people of faith become people of fabrication. Our job as people of faith is to live it out. To love out loud. To be bold. To seek after people. We as people of faith should not place high expectations on an even higher God. We shouldn’t expect Him to show up to our front porch on every monday afternoon with a bag of celery and two boxes of lucky charms. We are to seek Him out and be ready for whatever He’s got to show us no matter how miniscule or maximized it may be, we have to be ready.
2. 1 word, 5 letters, 2 syllables — A B I D E
It’s hard to abide when things go wrong. It’s really really hard. And i’m so sure, whoever you are reading those words, know’s that. How do you possibly cling to the Lord knowing that bad things happen. Why do bad things happen? Why do people get sick? Why? Why? Why? I really wish I knew. I wish I could make the bad things go away and replace them with all good things. But the thing is I can’t, but our God. The very one that put you and I exactly where we’re at in life has done so for a reason, and we’ve got no reason or rhyme, but what I can tell ya He doesn’t “slip up.” He doesn’t just “drop the ball.” We shake our fists to the sky when bad things happen, we question our faith, and sometimes completely give up on Him but let me ask you; what does that accomplish? Why struggle with something alone? Why walk through the darkest days all by yourself? WHO WANTS THAT!!? Because if you do, holy moly give me a call and I’ll talk some sense into you. I strive to be a person that clings to the Lord in the darkest of days, because together, we’re eventually getting to the light. He’ll be the light in the dark and get us out our our messy chaotic lives soon enough, why bother getting lost time and time again, with no map of the way out of whatever it is we may be struggling in? 2 is always better than one, and I promise He’s ALWAYS there.
3. Faith is equivalent to the waves of the Pacific Ocean
I recently went on a trip with 2 of my most cherished friends. They flew out to see me, both from different places and together we took a trip up to California. The second we got to Huntington Beach, CA we went straight for the beach. We set up our stuff and soaked up the golden rays of the west coast sun. mmmhmmm how good it was. After so long in the sun, my best friend Grace and I decided it was time to head into the ocean. Our sweetest gal pal Isabela volunteered to stay with our stuff as we headed to the vast ocean before our eyes. The second our toes touched they did a lil dance and went numb because of how chilly the pacific ocean is. We decided it’d be best to ease our way in. So with each little step our breath got shallower and our yelps got louder. If you think about it, the waves never stop. The waves are consistent and never stop crashing the shore. Think of the shore as our lives and waves as the good and bad parts of life. It never stops until it does. We’re constantly hit with freezing cold waves of good and bad things. With every wave that came above our belly buttons, Grace would jump onto me and cling for dear life as if the current would pull her into the depths of the ocean and swallow her up forever. We were in this thing together. We were goin down together ot we were staying up together and not one time did we wipe out. The Lord places people in our life to cling to, when we struggle with the powerful waves of life that knock us down He puts people in our lives that will help us stay grounded and strong in whatever it is we face. We don’t know when the next wave is to come until it hits us but to have people of passion and a God of power to cling to. Nothing is knocking us down, and lemme tell you, if it does. We’ve got lifesavers to help us back up just to do it all over again.
In my time with the Lord, these are some of the things he opened my mind to. I hope they inspire you big time. I hope you hug those people He placed in your life, I hope your breakdown those boxes that you’ve placed the creator of the sun and the stars in, and I hope that in this mad world we live in you realize that you have Him to always fall back on. Cling to those very things, with all you got.
thank you so much for reading this xx
Fundraising update!!!!!! I’m still a little under halfway there! I’ve got a deadline coming up so soon, but i’m confident the Lord WILL provide!! I’ve got some t shirts for sale so if youd like to check out my instagram or facebook for more photos & info just type i. my name!!!! – or email me @ [email protected] thank you so so much for all it is that you lovely people have done and continually do for me. I’m beyond grateful.
