This was a stupid idea
After the fiasco that I like to refer to as Christmas Eve I sought out something absolutely extravagantly to do for my New Years. Something so different that there was no chance of me falling into homesickness. So unique that I would be one of a kind heading into the New Year. That is where I found Cerro Provincia.
Cerro Provincia is a mountain just on the outskirts of Santiago, Chile. It is the highest northern point in the San Ramon mountain range and stands 8,000 feet above the city of Santiago. Although it may be an actually mountain it is only an “F” class alpine hike making it the easiest of all alpine hikes. It is just easy enough for the majority of people in good shape to do it and hard enough to keep hoards of people away from its summit. I was going to hike it on the new year. this is the story of one of the stupidest thing I have ever done in my whole life.
3…2…1…Happy New Year!!
At 12:01 January 1 2018, I stood on top of the Iglesia Bautista in Recoleta, Chile. Seconds later fireworks shot throughout the sky. They came over the Andes, downtown Santiago and everywhere in-between. we hugged our teams and had some non-alcoholic wine (World Race Appropriate) to celebrate the new year. By 12:10 though Colby, Jacob and myself had an Uber pulled up in front of the church to take us to our mountain. We drove for half an hour in the dark on winding roads. At this point we were getting excited and knew we were getting close. Then our driver takes us up a dirt road. I was a bit skeptical because it looked like we had drove up to a gated in home. I asked him to wait a second so I could check it out. Me and Colby walked up to the gate and a shadowy figure crept up to us growling, he barks twice and we turned and got back in the car.
Obviously we were in the wrong place, so I asked the drive to take us back to a sign that said something about a trail head to Cerro Provincia. We drove back for a whiled found the brown sign that said the trailhead was 1 km down the road. So we turned around again to return the way we had come from. Not too long after that I caught the tiniest sign that said “Entrance to Cerro Provincia”. There we got out of the car and prepared to attack the path ahead of us. Seeing as how it was about only 1 o’clock in the morning we go out our headlamps out and began walking down this road that apparently lead to our trail. We sent up a prayer and began our walk.
The road that lead to our trailhead was also a neighborhood with its of very expensive looking houses and lots of fenced in dogs. There we were, walking in the dark, in what felt like the middle of nowhere, surrounded by score of very aggressive dogs. Then half way down the road a dog ran up to us. This one wasn’t caged like the others, and we were already on our toes from all of the rental creating we had gotten form all the other dogs. He bark twice, but then turned around and walked by our side. It was the strangest thing, when we finally did make it to the trailhead the dog immediately starts up the trail as we stop to fix our flashlights. We acknowledged the strangeness of the encounter and quickly returned to trying to figure out why our headlamp were so dim.
As we fiddled with them to try and make them brighter Colby’s dies. He opens the back of it to see that its covered with battery acid. I handed him my extra hand held flashlight and start working on my head lamp. I turned it off then back on, and off again, but the time it didn’t come back on. Thankfully Jacob also had a spare handheld flashlight and he gave it to me. We laughed at ourselves for being just prepared enough. Sent up another quick prayer and started our accent. The beginning of the trial requires you to use chains that have been nailed into the rock and is a decently difficult path. It being only the beginning of the hike though we were full of energy and only excited by the adventure that it promised.
Not too long after we came to a fork in the road where the dog that we had walked to the trail head with was laying. He scared us as He sprinted out of the brush and continued up the trail. After some deliberation we decided to follow the path the dog had chosen. We continued on the path and took another turn at a fork in the trail and we walked for awhile. Then the dog ran up from behind us and kept running ahead. Seconds after the dog was no longer visible a pan flute stats to play. I won’t lie I was incredibly sketched out. I almost felt like I was in a sequel to the Blair Witch Project. The fact that it wasn’t great playing only added to its dominance.
At one point we came around a turn and the playing seemed to stop. Eventually we thought we had gone the wrong way and came around the turn again, where the pan flute started playing again. We joked about how the guy was probably just messing with us.We trekked for a while in the cold tension of the night then the playing stopped and a voice shouted up the mountain. “Hola!”
I shouted back “Hola!”
“Feliz ano nuevo!”
“Y tu señor!” I responded (It means “and you sir”)
“Where are you from?” He asked in English
“Somos de los Estados Unidos!” (We are from the US)
“Yes, but where?” he asked in english again.
“Im from Wisconsin!”
“Oh! Wisconsin!”
This I could only laugh in response.
“Well good luck my friend! Ten cuidado!” (Be careful)
“Gracias!” I said and we kept walking and he kept playing.
We kept on the same trail for a while before he spoke again. “My friend, are you sure you are on the right path?”
“Pienso que si!” I shouted back (I think so)
“Where are you going?”
“Cerro Provincia!”
“Oh, no no no no no! You are on the wrong path my friend!”
“Are you sure?” I questioned
“Yes! If you come back from where you were I can show you the path!”
Immediately I turn to Jacob and Colby as if to ask if we actually wanted to trust the voice in the dark. Being the cynical men that we are we had little trust for this man. After talking about it we turned to head back to where we had come. About half way back I shouted into the dark “Donde estas?” (where are you). I was met with no reply. It goes without saying that this did not help the trust we had for this man. Suddenly the dog that we hadn’t seen for the last 20 minutes showed up at my side and lead in front of me.
Again the voice in the dark spoke again this time he was very close “Down here my friends” We shined out light down the mountain to see a man wearing a black leather jacket, blue jeans and caring a walking stick. We met at an intersection inner trails and shook hands he said his name was Juan Carlos. When he turned to the dog he opened his arms and shouted “Milo!” The dog immediately started wagging his tail and hopes on him. This finally calmed us down a bit (I mean who knows people better than dogs). He lead us to the correct path and talked to us about why he was out there. He explained to us that he had cancer. It seemed he was seeking solitude for the holiday. When we got to the actually trail he said “The dog will take you up the mountain” and sure enough like clock work that dog ran up the mountain ahead of us. We prayed for Juan Carlos, thanked him for his help and continued on our way.
Although we hiked in darkness we managed quite well. We only diverged from the path twice and both time we managed to pick it back up quite easily and as we hiked we started to emerge from the valley where we started. At the top of that valley was Santiago at night. The largest city in all of Chile, twinkling brightly for as far as we could see with a full moon as its backdrop. We took several opportunities to get pictures.
We continued hiking for a bit and then we stopped for a good rest and stated to see the land around us. We noticed a peek in the distance and we though it might be our summit. Part of me said “Please God, no” and the other said “Now that would be a story.” I have to say though that the first part was a bit stronger in the night.
As sun beams started to reach out over the Andes to our left illuminating Santiago on our right. We realized our hopes of summiting before sunrise were far from real. So we made plans to find a bit of flat open ground and eat some breakfast. So we sat down and had peanut butter & jelly and ham & cheese sandwiches. As the sun Glowed brighter we realized that the peak that we had thought was our summit was indeed our summit and we had a long way to go. We had come too far not to finish this out. So we finished our breakfast and we began our assent once more however this time we decided to take it eat our own paces. Colby flew up the mountain and I never saw him again until the top. I took the medium speed and Jacob behind me.
This part of the hike was by far the hardest for me. I felt as though I could only take 10 steps before I needed to stop and rest for 20 seconds. This made for very slow progress. Then I came to a rock that (this isn’t a joke) looked like a Lazy Boy (ok I might have been delirious) and I took off my pack and sat there for a long time. Eventually, Jacob caught up to me and he took after me but instead of sitting down he walked around and took some more photos. As I sat on my Lazy Boy I started to drift thinking about the sleep my body lacked and how pretty the inside of my eyelids looked. Then Jacob hit me on the shoulder and said, “come on.” Although simple, it got me moving again.
The last part of the hike was by far the steepest and the most dangerous. We climbed across razorbacks, and creeped around boulders. The slides of earth on either side of me looked as though they might be the fastest way down if I wanted to start over (I did not). I climbed and climbed to the point where I thought I might have never made it to the top. Then the sun hit my face. And warmed my shaking cold body. I saw it. The summit. Only 400 yards away from me. I reached the false summit that was marked by a flag pole and walked another 300 years to the actual summit. Infant of me now were the Andes Mountains rolling on forever and behind me the city of Santiago. I walked back to Colby who had been sitting on the edge of some rocks starting out at the city.
Although Santiago was one of the biggest cities in all of South America it did not move. From our perspective the city was still and peaceful. For all we knew it could have been abandoned. A little while after me Jacob made it to us and we finished our hike in 8 hours. What takes normal hikers 4-5 hours took us 8, but I could care less about the time. We took in the glory of our hike for a few moments. Then I pulled out my sleeping bag (one of the only things I brought with me) and we napped for 3 hours at 9,000 feet. When we woke it was 12:30. We ate the rest of our food, realized we did not have nearly enough water, packed up and started the descent.
This part of the hike was not as interesting. We had a lot more joy in us and cracked a lot more jokes, but as with most mountains we just needed to focus all the way down to ensure we didn’t slip and slide. Which we all did. We met some locals who showed us a different way down that didn’t land us in the middle of nowhere, which in turn helped us find our Uber home a lot faster. We got home around 5 and as soon as I got inside I grabbed my sleeping pad and pillow and when to the chapel (it was the coldest place in our entire compound). I heard Emily tell me I stunk. I responded with “I know” and I fell asleep till 9 o’clock. I woke up for only a second and was eat awake when Joel asked me to do our weekly survey. After the survey I went to our Abula asked he to make me fries, eggs, cheese, and ham. I destroyed the plate of food and fell asleep in my bed for another 10 hours.
That’s how I spent my first day of the new year.
