This week, the house I grew up in was sold.
With that I realized that I desire a sense of security. A knowledge that while I am away, there is still a stronghold in my life. I want that to be physical. There are so many unknowns in my life that I wanted something visible and tangible that was home. I wanted it to be the walls of my house, the beautiful structure that holds nearly all my memories. This place that has seen me laugh and cry. It has been where I have grown up. These have been the walls I have walked through when I was dancing, singing, crying, laughing, yelling, and thinking. But these walls will fade away. They will not last. This firm structure can be torn apart in an instant.
God has called me to be homeless. Not only am I leaving for 9 months, but I will never return to the place I call home.
But God has called me to find my home in him. He is the eternal stronghold of my life, my firm foundation on which I shall not be shaken. My house will fade away, my God will not. He was and is and is yet to come.
In Matthew 4:19, Jesus calls some of his disciples. He tells them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.” The following verse declares that immediately, they left their nets and followed him. What boggles my mind about this, is that they left their families, their jobs, their homes, IMMEDIATELY when Jesus called. It doesn’t say, “they said, ‘Can you give us a few days to think about it, Jesus?” Nope, immediately, they went and followed Him.
This draws me to two possible conclusions. First, they must have known who this man was and what he was about. Second, just because they said yes immediately doesn’t mean that it was easy for them. God doesn’t call us to easy things, but he calls us to good things. So as I prepare to leave, this is what I know: I know who Jesus is and what He is about, I also know that leaving everything will not be easy, but it will be good. This challenges me to ask myself a question. What is it that is holding me back from immediately saying yes to God at times?
This can be any number of things for any of us. Often for myself, I believe I can be slow at saying yes to God, because I first want to asses how it will affect me. I care too much about my comfort.
To make this more applicable, sacrificing comfort doesn’t have to be living in a different country. Sometimes it can be you are out at an event and you see someone sitting alone. You know it would be super uncomfortable to walk across the room and try to talk to them, but you know that you should. Sometimes sacrificing comfort and saying yes to the Lord is just walking awkwardly across a room to talk to someone who is lonely.
I think God is replacing my familiar and my comfort, with his love and presence.
Thank you God for this time of homelessness. Thank you that it is teaching me how to find my home in you. Thank you that I am learning how to give up my comfort in order to serve you.
