In winding down from this season of The World Race and transitioning back to home life, I think the number one question I have been asked is how I managed being away from my fiancé for a year. Certainly in processing all that this past year was, it’s a question I ask myself a LOT, and one I have realised is the most beautiful testimony of what it looks like to both have a Heavenly Father who is ridiculously faithful, and a man who is willing to sacrifice a part his own happiness for a year so that I could live out my dream. I’ve jotted down a few points about what I learnt this year from a long distance engagement;
- The World Race has a pretty strict no dating while on the field policy. This really means that you are asked not to engage in romantic relationships on your squad, with anyone you meet on the field, or with someone you aren’t fully committed to from home. This really is so you can give all of you and your attention to this year of intimacy with the Lord & missions. However entering into this season with a fiancé therefore, definitely made me feel a bit different. I think a lot of people probably don’t go on the race for this very reason, so I want to absolutely start by saying YOU CAN STILL GO. You are brave & resilient and any love that is worth having will be there when you are finished. DO NOT miss out on this ridiculously beautiful and incredible year because you think it will be too hard. God is SO faithful and will keep your eyes and heart where they need to be AND allow you to love your person at home. I cannot say it enough, you can do both.
- I think my most unexpected blessing from this year has been watching the impact Charlie has had on some of the women I lived life with this year. He’s on the other side of the world and they have never met him, how is that even possible? And yet it is so true. I cannot tell you how many of my girls from this year have talked to me about the ways they have learnt from Charlie this year. How he has raised the standard of what a man will do for someone he loves, of what long distance love looks like, of what intentionality looks like, and of what a real relationship looks like. Charlie & I are by no means perfect, and honestly this transition home has been harder on him and I than we would have guessed, but there was never a day when I was away that either of us were left with any doubt that we loved one another and we would work anything out – and for the people around us to see that I think was kinda special. Prisca wrote a blog about us a few months back, cue all the crying faces. Read it here; https://kristajenkins.theworldrace.org/post/ive-now-seen-a-disney-love-story-in-real-life-love-series-part-2
- Important dates are hard. My birthday, his birthday, our one year to the wedding date, etc. Those days are harder and will definitely knock you off a little. Those days are ok – it is ok to be sad some days, it is ok to miss him/her some days, it is ok to curl up in bed some days and watch a sappy movie & shed a tear or two. Give yourself grace on those hard days.
- The people around you will be your biggest support this year. Celebrate things you would usually celebrate with your other half. The team I was with the month that was our one-year-to-the-wedding-date, they bought me a cake and sang songs and we danced in the kitchen. Let the people around you into the good parts & the not so good parts.
- Make communication a priority. Charlie & I video called approximately twice per week & messaged probably half of the days I had wifi. This kept us up to date on each others lives but meant we still had our eyes on what we were doing ourselves. Over communication means you aren’t present where you are. Talk about it before you go away and set some healthy standards and expectations of each other.
- Use this year wisely! Read books on relationships/marriage (depending on the stage you are at), listen to podcasts (I cannot recommend the Happily Ever After series by Thriving Life Church enough), pray for your significant other, set goals for when you get home. Use the time, grow in your intimacy with the Lord, prepare for the next season of life, do not let this time go by!
- Coming home to each other is AMAZING and really HARD. Just like your whole life flips going on the race, it will totally flip going home again. Talk to each other, have a lot of grace for each other, relearn what it is to love each other well, listen to one another’s stories, realise that you are different and that means your relationship is different and that is a good and beautiful thing.
- I now cry every time I hear the song ‘Great is Thy Faithfulness’ because it couldn’t be ANY more true. He is faithful and good and will soothe your heart when it hurts and will lift your head when it is down and you will depend so wholly on your Father that your relationship will grow immensely and it will be all things beautiful and true. Use this as an opportunity to depend on God like you maybe never have before, He just will NOT fail you.
- Love is what God created us for. It is not a bad thing you are in a relationship & want to be a missionary. It is a sacred and wonderful part of life so savour it and also pursue your heart dreams the Lord has given you. I asked the Lord before the Race if I had it right, was I really meant to have a boyfriend and be a missionary? He asked me why I was questioning the beautiful things He had given me. Pray about it and seek Him first, if He is giving you both then receive it as a GIFT and pursue both with passion and joy. The hard days are worth every single second.
Great is Thy Faithfulness.
Love,
Chloe
xo
(If you are in a relationship or engaged and want to do the world race/are on it now, message me if you need to, I would love to help along the way)
