If you’ve followed my blog in chronological order then you’ve been able to read a portion of my spiritual journey. In a previous post I mentioned that I’ve been taking the senseless, painful parts of my life and asking God a very simple question; “Why?”
This post is a continuation of that one and if you’d like to read it first then I’ll leave a link to it here!
Today I read the 34th chapter of the book of Deuteronomy. This chapter brings the earth shattering life of Moses to an end. The Lord shows Moses the Promised Land but due to Moses’ disobedience earlier on, the Lord doesn’t allow Moses to enter in. The rest of the chapter reads like your typical obituary.
“So Moses the servant of the Lord died there in the land of Moab, according to the word of the Lord, and he buried him in the valley in the land of Moab opposite Beth-peor; but no one knows the place of his burial to this day. Moses was 120 years old when he died. His eye was undimmed, and his vigor unabated. And the people of Israel wept for Moses in the plains of Moab thirty days. Then the days of weeping and mourning for Moses were ended.” -Duet. 34:5-8
Did you catch that? Who buried Moses? The Lord himself laid his dutiful servant to rest. Moses spent the better part of his life trekking through the wilderness with one of the whiniest congregations in history! Even with all that hard work God dealt a strong consequence. He did not let Moses step foot in the Promised Land. Instead, he allowed Moses a peaceful end with his eyes set on a fulfilled promise to God’s people. Then the Lord himself buried Moses. Yes, he’s a jealous God. Yes, he sends down pillars of fire and delivers harsh consequences. Those pieces of his character do not contradict this other side to his nature. In my opinion, they enhance it. With a nearly maternal gesture we see how well the Lord cared for his child. This tenderness makes his wrath all the more frightening. A love this pure cannot exist without an equally passionate anger towards sin’s grip on the world. Out of this love our God buried Moses in a secret place where no one could disturb his servant’s body. I can’t even imagine what the next few scenes with the Lord looked like! Moses, a friend of God, finally united in fullness with his master.
So what does this have to do with my earlier post? Until processing this whole beautiful chapter I had stayed in my angry place. My dad affectionately refers to that mood of mine as a “grumpy bug”.
The Lord loves me. He loves me the same way he loved Moses. The same way that he loves you. Whether you believe in him or not, that all consuming love exists. It’s unstoppable and nothing can deter it. So I’d much rather set my eyes on the fulfilled promises of God than sit in the anger and frustration of things left unanswered. There’s a time for anger and grief. Really. But right now is a season for rejoicing. This is a time to sit in front of the God of all creation and know that I am so entirely loved. A season of looking at what’s to come. A time to look at all that God has done and know that nothing in this life can taint the sweetness of our reunion. A reunion that will be so breathtaking, all else will pale in comparison. An embrace that will never cease. Worship that never ends. This is something sweeter.
