I’m going to be a little vulnerable and tell you guys about life outside of the pictures and post that you see. Ministry is so great and so beautiful but something that is very hard to learn is making sure that my own spiritual cup is filled. We are constantly pouring out to others and I did not realize until recently that that’s not all this mission is made for. I can’t put myself and my faith aside because doing that can take away from the people I’m ministering to.
Until about a week ago, I was loving the places I’ve been living, loving the people, and loving the ministry I have the privilege of working with, but I was missing something. With all these things, I came home after a long day and felt very distant from God. I had Him with me every day, but His voice and presence felt very faint. I tried to make myself believe that it would just go away or that I was only tired and I’ll try to work harder in ministry the following day, but that wasn’t it.
I was not having the discipline to sit with the Lord even when it’s not fun. Even when I don’t “feel” something. Even when I’m so exhausted. Even when I feel like I have done enough for the day.
The Lord is not someone to go to just when you’re on fire for Him or you just got back from camp and you’re pumped about everything you’ve just learned. He is someone who shows up every single day and it is up to us to do the same.
My cup was so dry because I was pouring so much out, but I was not showing up everyday for the Lord to pour into me. I was not starting my day with reading my bible like I could have been. I was not setting time apart from fun and the Lord. I finally realized that this is not just a fun journey. It’s going to take very hard work and dedication. I should wake up early, even though I’m tired from the day before, to sit with the Lord because that’s the least my God deserves. He deserves to fill us up before our breakfast does.
I took this into action and can you guess what happened? God, once again, showed me how great and faithful He is. I have started reading through Romans with a few girls and at first, everything felt so over my head. It gave me a headache even attempting to figure out what all those word were saying, but as soon as I starting to be more intentional about setting apart time to spend with the Lord, it was like a veil was taken from in front of my eyes. I started understanding and saw the little ways He was trying to speak to me. I got to chapter 4, which was about Abraham’s faith, and it gave me what my heart was looking for.
Abraham was given a promise from God to be a father of many. In fact, God promised descendants like the stars in the sky or the grains in the sand on the seashore, too numerous to count. This was actually pretty impossible because his wife could not have children but God’s word was enough for Abraham. He grew to be 99 years old, still with no children, but he continued to believe. This is incredible to me because from my perspective, if you’re wife is infernal AND you are around 100 years old, the chance of you having a child is nonexistent. But Abraham did not doubt God’s promise and something wild happened.
He had multiple children!! Wild right???????
It showed me how I need to grow in my faith to be like Abraham and trust in the Lord even when things seem pretty impossible.
