Toting termite infested wood, raking rocks in a dirt field, and cleaning up trash from a place no one can even see is what my past few days have looked like. The tune you imagine to be playing in your head during that is probably not “celebrate, good times, c’mon!” If you would’ve had my pre-race self do these things just around the house I would’ve personally had some angry rap music blaring in my head. But that is not here on Hope Mountain.
Lucie, my squad leader, gave the whole squad the idea of celebration to write about for our blogging team time last week, during the prime of the era of my no-celebration-just-do-your-work persona, so I made a half-given effort list of things to celebrate, closed my computer and decided not to blog at all. Oh, the pessimism. (It’s crazy how things align in God’s timing. You’ll see.)
But a 180 degree turn was being made in my spirit. My pessimism got to the point of being pessimistic about my pessimism, so the prayers for a softened heart began. This is where the timing of God is mind blowing: it didn’t take long. Quickly after, actually, about the next day, the Lord started chipping away at the stone around my heart. He broke down negative wall after wall, wrecking me from the inside. He has showed me, mostly through other people, that being pessimistic gets you nowhere and that choosing joy is so crucial in obtaining life to the full.
Joy is starting to rise up in even the most mundane situations. Yes, even in raking rocks and moving termite infested wood! Real hope is following this joy, hope that what we are doing here is really making a difference beyond what the eyes can see. Hope that we are furthering the Kingdom. Hope on Hope Mountain.
God’s timing is even crazier in that as I started praying for a softened heart, I finished one book and started the book Cold Tangerines. In this book, the author writes, “To choose to celebrate in this world we live in right now might seem irresponsible. It might seem frivolous, like cotton candy and charm bracelets. But I believe its a serious undertaking, and one that has the potential to return us to be our best selves, to deliver us back to the men and women God created us to be, people who choose to see the best, believe the best, yearn for the best. Through that longing to be our best selves, we are changed and inspired and ennobles, able to see the handwriting of a holy God where other person just sees the same old tired streets and sidewalks.”
I crave to be seeing-the-handwriting-of-God-in-the-average-sidewalks-and-streets type of person. I want to see God in every situation and in every person. I want to see God on the mountaintops and in the valleys. I want to see God in the sleepy eyes of dawn and the tired hands of dusk. I want to choose celebration. I want to be my best self, the person that the Creator created me to be.
So here are some things I am choosing to celebrate:
- that the children of this community can come to us here in Lajas and feel welcomed and loved, even though that may not be what they feel at home
- being a child of God!!!!!
- The lady at Sosua Beach seeing Jesus in me and Kelly, just because we came back to look at her shop after we told her we would
- friendships and growing community
- revelations (the noun, not the book in the Bible)
- that God’s stories never have a bad ending (thank you for that one, Redeeming Love)
- Jesus died for us
- that we have the Bible AND the Holy Spirit to use as tools to show people Jesus
- the mountains we get to wake up to every morning
- cool breezes on sweltering hot days
- running toilets
- clear ocean water
- Zach buying me a coconut muffin thing from the corner store
- The Dominguez family and the work being done through them
Three weeks. It’s been 3 weeks and it feels like so much more and so much less at the same time. Time is such a weird thing, but God’s timing is not the same as ours. Even weirder. We’re leaving here in a couple days, which is not something to celebrate because I know I’ll miss it here, but I can celebrate everything else I’ll get to celebrate over these next 8 months.
Here’s to leaving pessimism behind, for these next 8 months and beyond. Here’s to choosing celebration. Here’s to choosing to be who God made us to be. Here’s to joy and hope. Here’s to a good God who wants good for us.
