What if they all hate me – despite my integrity?

Anguished heart stop breathing.
Then, you only can judge me.

Then I am alone, as I always knew I was.

.

Is this rebellion?

To swim?

.

And in this silence you speak again

While the dread of that norm crashes down on me again

I have tumbled off the cliffs into it’s wake

Pushed

.

Is there humbleness in such a fall?

Or was the edge pride?

.

Reach down and pull me up

My grief is too heavy and I cannot swim

Ive done this too many times before

And now, I give up

Head in the rocks

Rocking with the tide

There is blood now

.

Affliction

.

Be a shield around about me

.

I have found a cave before

At the base of this mountain

Where you pulled me once 

Sheltered and pathed with gold in the setting and rising sun

Where the rain falls like a curtain past the entrance and the wind passes like a stranger

Uninvited.

.

Twice.

Three times

I scream “NO SHAME!”

.

Distress

.

You have whispered the entrance to me.

I put my self there

I put myself there.

In your refuge.

All I am there.

Trust you alone, so I have heard.

And there, blind now from the sea,

I take your hand and follow you through the shoals

Uphill

The grass whips at my legs

And I feel the sand sticking to my ankles

Your mercy leads me

Your love whispers

“Come beloved, come.”

Because you have forgiven me.

And surely this will be my story.

.

The tide has beaten me

But you are not afraid.

Psalm 25