Often I forget that I’m here to bring Kingdom.
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And what does that even mean?
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I forget.
I dont remind myself.
And i seldom search out the answers i need, because often i’m too tired, or too aimeless…
I get wrapped up like hair in the wind – into a huge knot. And I don’t even have time after a long day to brush out that hair. I find my center is self: at night, my mind wondering and trying to escape the stress that finally finds me flat enough to crawl onto – like a spider finding something in it’s web.
At my most stressed I close my eyes and don’t resist.
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We arrived in three vehicles sent from Romania, into Serbia in the early hours of the morning. At what time they started driving to arrive in order to pick us up on time – I have no idea. Only that we got up some time at around 5am, packed, shuffled out into the wet streets and were taken grumpily by taxi to the train station where we first began our Serbian adventure.
The dull colors brightened with the sunrise and 50 humans, bags, stray dogs, and random curious Serbians stood in the cool, waiting.
So then, after many hours, we arrived, a little cramped, to a lonely street lined with deserted looking houses in varied states of decay or decor.
And we tumbled out of onto the dirty sidewalk, aching from travel cramps.
Two teams quickly shuffled luggage around to leave again to their further on further up far off destination, while the rest of us greeted a few new faces (our Romanian hosts) and dragged our luggage inside.
I found and then dragged my bag after another racer, not paying much attention, and along the way was told where to go: farther in, and then up.
I dragged my bag through a long room lined on both walls by wood bunkbeds – into and through a back room – into a landing of sorts for a double ended staircase. Easier than it looked, I dragged my bag up the stairs and was pulled into the first room by the voice of one of my teammates – and ushered to my bed: top bunk, in a corner between two windows.
There I found a verse and a chocolate. Each pillow in the room was similarly decked. After depositing my bag to my bed, I retreated back downstairs to find that the front door was being padlocked.
In my face to my dismay.
Ouch.
Feeling trapped I finally found my way out again, by making my way through the back of the house and back out to the front through a complicated series of gates.
Grumpy. That is the only word I can put to my state of being at the moment I arrived.
I was angry without reason and practically determined to hate Romania.
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Grieving.
Its said that it hits you in 5 stages.
I was grieving the leaving of Serbia but id somehow jumped onto anger without the denial…because i was used to packing up and leaving and so did it rotely?
Wikipedia gives more information about “the 5 stages”. Anger: When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals.
Uh…me for the first week and a half. My poor teammates. I tried, but as my teammates affectionately say often, “You tried, but you really did a terrible job.”
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God knew my lack of motivation as i landed here and he divinely assigned my team to the church office.
But im getting ahead of myself.
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All 5 teams got stuck here for about a week as we got orrientation and interviews from one of the church elders – who actually is more like the senior pastor and manager of all related ministries spread out from Hope Church Romania in Draganesti-Olt, which is where we are.
The first morning we all gathered in the church and sat as one after the other we were prompted and questioned by a rugged dark and unique individual with a jutting jaw line.
Surprisingly, he listened as if the individual speaking was the only living soul alive. And his questions came like surprising land mines strategically interupting or starting the flow of information.
“Ah, interesting. Should i give you one star? Or two?” he leaned against the pew of chairs and waited for an answer.
Blushing, stuttering, checking left or right, the racer searched for someone to give them a hint of how they should answer.
“Don’t tell me what you fink i want to hear. Tell me what you are really finking.”
If there was a hint of future mission work or desire for following whatever God wanted a star was given.
If there was some prior experience or talent there was two stars given.
It was a code for a follow up interview.
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“If you were to come and counsel one of two people for me for an hour, would you rather spend that hour with someone who is having a lot of problems in life and needs encouragement in their walk with Christ? Or do you want to help someone who is not a christian to convince them that Jesus is the answer for their life? If you have the choice of these two people, who would you pick?”
Again flustered, the racer looks left and right, and laughs.
“If this is not a good question, then tell me to take it back. Say, Raul, take your question back!”
And two hours pass like this.
We answer 5 questions he’s asked us to prepare:
Who are we
Where we came from
What did we do before this
Whats our role in the kingdom of God/our spiritual gifts
What we can do for him/What he can do for us
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Then he told us all about himself, his church, his vision, the projects and ministries the church does, and the missionaries that work with him and live now in romania. His information was riddled with stories and questions and grace.
He cant remember names well, so he calls us all Captain. “You are all Captains, as long as i am General.” he told us the first day.
I have never felt so seen and respected by any boss as i have from this simple and humble and freaken genious generous man.
And everyday, in some way, he thanks us, encourages us, and asks us how he can serve us or help us to ease our stress. “Do you need anything? Chocolate? Coffee? — Do you know what you have done for me today? You have lifted my burdens!”
Always without fail i feel safe, seen, and appreciated.
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This is how I start my day.
We wake up around 7am.
– I have decided on morning rituals for myself to start having better habbits. I am not doing perfect yet, but already this second week in Romania i wake up with more joy than i have ever felt in my life.
Somehow, God is answering my prayer to help me walk unaffected by the emotions i can always sense around me. Emotions that drag me with them until they are resolved – and usually result in me isolating myself.
With that grace I am learning how to function regardless, ignoring the peripherial pull and retaining my own energy and joy.
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So i wake, and usually listen to two songs before i go wash my face and brush my teeth.
Then i walk to the church – sometimes eating on the way, sometimes eating before i leave.
Now there’s only 3 teams here and it’s a little less rowdy and more quiet.
From 9am we spend 30 minutes in worship (getting soaked for prayer time) and then the next hour and a half (sometimes with a break) praying over different people, requests, ministries, projects, and missionaries, as well as future hopes, dreams, desires, and plans.
Someone always spends time between each subject informing us about the prayer requests and sometimes telling stories. Sometimes it is Raul, a church member or staff, or one of us that Rauls given all the info to.
After we finish our time of intercession we have a 2 hour break for lunch.
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At 1pm we all return to the church building and are sent off to our prospective ministries until 5 or 6pm.
Groovy Crew is in charge of the office while we are here.
We are doing everything which means that we have ALL his passwords for everything and are answering phone calls, emails, etc. so that Raul can go out and do other things that usually because of his many many duties he doesn’t have much time to devote sufficient time and energy to.
Crazy to be trusted with so much and treated as if he trusts wholeheartedly our intentions and integrity.
Pastor Raul truly knows how to deligate, honor, serve, and empower the people around him.
The office tasks have all been broken up amongst us and my task for the month is Social Media.
I am in charge of his facebook, instagram, Linkedin, twitter, youtube accounts – both personal and for the church – and all messages and related groups, chats, and pages.
This is really fun for me but also exhausting at some level.
Please pray for my headaches, since after sitting at the computer and staring at the monitor posting, typing, and editing things for 5 hours i usually go home with a headache.
We have a Media girl (my teammate and friend Jax) and 2 field media people actively filming and clicking off pictures for us. Jax has been getting all the stuff and usually edits and formats and creates videos for me to post. Which is a-freaken-mazing, and helps all our media to work like a smooth little conveyer belt.
Along with all the pics and stuff, i am going through all his many many connections, reading their info and deciding if they go on a contact/do not contact list for follow up in creating a partnership with the projects and ministries going on here.
Here is a video with more information!
They have some amazing opportunities for older couples to mentor their missionaries (simply encouraging them through skype calls or letters/emails) and adopting missionaries working here or even projects or ministries! You can also check out more information and contact them through their website: http://www.hoperomania.org/
Please check at least the video out and ask the Lord, “Do you want me to partner with this church in any way?”
Thanks 🙂
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Back to my job:
Theres over 3000 contacts in his social media that i have to cross reference with his over 3000 email contacts to make sure that my messages dont interfere with the other office managers messages to potential partners.
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So far, i havent gotten very far with that.
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However, God graciously gave me a task that i could throw myself into wholeheartedly when i first got here without much motivation and the desire to avoid people and my personal emotional problems. And for that i am thankful.
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My second prayer request is that while we are here, that the office crew would do well in all our communications so as not to make any miscommunications or misrepresentations of Pastor Raul since we are doing many many things in his name….
and what a lesson, or what a thought as we are now in our seventh month of doing things in the name of Jesus…
and what does that mean, for those of us claiming to be following Him?
and what does that mean, when we pray in His name?
and what does it mean, to be Carolyn son of God? Or rather daughter – as i am adopted into His family, and bear His name now?
What does that mean?
So many questions here in Romania.
Things i know, but do i know?
