Loaf Ward.
Loaf
Ward…
Lord.
Lording it over:
imposing
Holding back
desires.
.
But you
– is there a forceful bone in your body?
Broken.
.
Yet unbroken
You walk away
You walk on
Your invitation sinks like salt through the foam on the top of my drink.
Foam
on my lips
Apart from you I am nothing.
.
The valley is full of bones
And across,
On the other side
Are those who shine in the sun
Glorious.
Glorious hope.
Sorrow increasing as you walk away.
Sorrow increasing
The cup filling
And spilling over onto the floor
Vomit
Vomit spilling between my feet
I refuse to even utter the words ive heard theyre like blood on my tongue
Theyve been poured out on me
Words meant to shred my soul.
.
You glance over your shoulder
and smile.
You laugh,
because me
swallowing the words
makes you laugh.
You like me.
You like me.
I amuse you.
You made me with the ability to say things you dont predict.
You gave me this cup
.
And ive let them fill it with their ideas of who you are.
So i vomit
.
All i desire
“Comeon,”
You promise me
youre going to show me what ive been looking for.
“Comeon,
Do you want to see?”
Unsaid:
Do you really want to see?
.
I wake
to the beeping of life support machines
You lift your head from between your knees
Your hair tousled by restless fingers
Your eyes are swollen
with tear Dark circles
under your eyes
.
You wipe away your tears with the back of your hand, I blink in the bright light.
It hurts to breathe
“How do you feel?”
He brushes hair off my forehead.
Tenderly.
He looks at me in a way only he can
Because he knows
He is the only one who knows…
I close my eyes.
I fade away to his whispered song.
It lurs me deep into a peace i have only dreamed of.
Joy, in the still darkness.
Joy, as you hold my hand while i sleep.
Joy, in the words you sing.
Joy unfurling unknown paths,
paths that take me to my joy.
