Cloaks.

Cloaks of recognition – 

Kilts,

kilts of clans and familys spanning generations

we know that those of those colors and stripes

you mess with their families they’ll come at you to strike –

Protection.

.

covered in his mantle is both protection

provision

and joy.

.

Gathering they glint in the light

their colors on parade,

they laugh and sing and dance

the dancing sets deep into your heartbeat 

and you dance unable to resist…

with the colors

with the cloak

comes carousing

comes celebration –

.

and then there is the shield.

.

carried out to the battle

carried back from the war.

On one arm

Or

by many hands…

his body laid out with his cape wrapping his still figure – all courage drained away from his body thick with now, lifeless slabs of meat

won over a lifetime of warring….

preperation come to a standstill.

over.

the edge of his cape

hanging over the edge of the shield

flaps aimlessly in the breeze as they carry him back –

But I

.

I walk behind Him

.

His shield covers me and he promises me that he himself will be carried back before i ever will

because He

.

because He promises to sheild me

and i wear His cloak.

.

conversation

.

conversation can be silence.

it can be sighs

so even if i come with empty hands and a mouth full of sighs – do not turn away from me

.

Sighing i am holding out the only hope i have left

which is you.

.

so in the face of inpending doom

i come.

my mouth has been an open grave

my hand the writer of destruction…

i come.

in the morning

i come to

You.

.

dont turn away from me in my distress

i wait for your reply eagerly

.

i lay before you unable to lift myself off of the floor

.

eagerly i wait

.

unable.

.

unable to sing cause i have no song

unable to speak cause my throat has closed

over this:

my sin rises up before you

.

You are not a God who takes pleasure in evil

as i do

.

You say i will dwell on your house forever

You say the arrogant cannot stand in your presence 

You say you will be a shield about me

You say you will spread your protection over me –

cloak

.

Yet here i lie.

unable to rise for the wieght of my arrogance has taken me  to the floor

where i lie

bloodthirsty and deceitful

i lie

unable to rise

and all my groans and sighs come before you

answer me quickly

consider my unspoken plea

.

in the morning i wake.

you have sustained me 

and you

You terrify me with your willingness to bestow me with your great mercy –

.

Make straight my way then God.

Make a way where there is no way

for i delight in evil.

it lurks on my path

it chases me down

even when i stand where you have placed me

i look down and see her, bathing on the roof and i am overcome

.

i write feverishly through the night to kill him.

i hand the letters to the captain

knowing he doesnt know

and i send my friend to his death.

eagerly.

eagerly i await news so that i can feast on his spoils again.

eagerly.

.

and now.

as the sun sets again 

i remain here

before you

my only hope in the face of my sin

and all i have is my sighs.

i am guilty.

i am  guilty of all you abhor and now

i am left here

.

i wait in expectation

knowing you should not grant me mercy

and still i sigh

.

have mercy on me God. 

For you alone – if any – can.

.

surely i have no hope but you.

.

you alone will bless the righteous 

banishing those like me from your sight…

Alas!

.

Listen to my cry for help!

Bless me – me too, my Father!