1. Happy Birthday to my brother Jonny!
I pray the Lord reveals Himself to you in profound ways this year!
2. Shout out to my family: i so missed Thanksgiving with you! Which is testament to how special a place you have in my heart! Im grateful for the way you’ve sown into the importance of family-time in my life! Thanks!!
3. This post is dedicated to (a few of my partners): Sarah, Meliss, Jenn, Sunny, Petra, Sindy, Lynn, Melissa, Kim, Johanna, TrudynDennis, Emily, Chris, Allan & Laurie, JessenJanelle, and Ted. Thank you for sowing into the Kingdom with me!
Praises: my financial deadline for november is met!!!! January is my next deadline for all the rest of the needed support: less than $4000!!!
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The walls scream identity; insecurity. People determined that even if they die they will be remembered. Memorials to themselves. Power they boast of that they may not have ever owned or known. Power they think they possess by walking alongside other boasters. No one sure if the claims are legit. But they walk together, laugh together, threaten others together, one upping and being one upped, their dna spit into the same gutters, their lips cupping the same bottles, the same straws, the same lies. Their dreams full of the same fears. And so, they learn to scrawl the same graffiti, and they walk the same paths, unaware of any others.
As i survey their beautiful loneliness my heart finds its own aches and fears. I wonder about the graffiti i leave behind me. The ways that i have to be right, the paths of insecurity i reveal in my habits.
Does my lonely insecurity leave behind marks that mar the walls around my heart? What do you read there?
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LOVED. the silver sequins blazed across her chest caught my eye and my heart whispered, “bold girl.” My breath caught in my heart as a voice whisped back, “Live in this truth.”
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Before we left Chile our whole squad got together for a special debrief with all our team leadership.
They asked us before we left to spend some time in prayer in little groups and ask the Lord to give us some clues to who and where He wanted us to go pray for. And then, to go out into the streets and find those things, those people and pray for them…
So me and two other girls sat on the steps of the hostel and prayed.
After a few minutes of silent prayer we shared with eachother: a woman washing laundry, the smell of chocolate, bending over and seeing beads or fruit fall to the ground like a broken necklace, a coffee shop, the strong smell of lemons, the face of an old sunburnt man, a bright light in an otherwise very dark room which upon further reflection was revealed to be a motorcycle repair shop…
We were amused by the strange assortment, got up and started off, perodically asking eachother in turns, “What direction do you think/feel we should go?”, and keeping our eyes open for the things we’d been impressed with in prayer.
Turn right, i felt embarassed to share the impression. But it persisted, turn right. “Hey guys,” i said when we reached the corner. “Which way do you think we should go?” I was met with uncertainty.
“What about right?”
“Sure!”
Twenty five feet up the relatively deserted and gated on all sides road discouragement and doubt crept in. “Wow, we couldn’t have picked a more empty neighborhood!”
I looked up and noticed freshly washed laundry hanging high up on an apartment porch.
“Well, there’s some laundry,” i commented half hopeful.
“There’s some fruit,” one of the girls pointed to an orange tree behind a metal fence.
“Is any on the ground?” the other girl looked around expectantly.
“I’m sorry guys-” i started, realizing i’d been foolish to ask them to turn into this neighborhood. But just then we passed the gated house and there was coffee.
The next “house” was in fact a church. A small table boasted coffee, cups, tea and condiments. We stopped uncertain and a lady – perhaps a church greeter – gazed at us curiously through the fence.
(It was sunday morning)
We stopped uncertain what we should do in the face of the clues that lead to this moment, and as we quickly discussed how we should proceed the lady approached us.
I cant convey the whole conversation since it was broken english and poor spanish – but after a few nervous laughter introductions – kissed greetings – we shared that we were on a prayer walk and why we were in Chile and we asked her if we could pray for her. She eagerly accepted sharing a bit about what she wanted prayer for, and we prayed for her – for her family and for her own heart and hope.
When we finished another lady approached and i was surprised to see her wearing a bright yellow cardigan!
She was tall thin and blond haired. The two woman were about the same age (mid 40s to mid 50s) but one (short, dark haired and dark skinned, dressed all in black) was clearly a native of Chile and the other was not. Immediately i thought: “chocolate and lemon”.
They were clearly friends as the one we prayed for immediately informed the lady who were were and what was going on. Then the fair haired lady cleared her throat and spoke in perfect english!
We learned that her family was from germany and that she’d grown up in Chile, then we asked if we could pray for her and she shared about her children and grandchildren and about how they weren’t saved.
Then she asked us to pray for them as she openly wept. By the end of the prayer we were all a little teary eyed and hugged as if we were family. It was a strange and wonderful feeling to encounter believers so far from home and share such deep emotions.
“Alright,” the lady said wiping her tears. “Do you want some avocados?”
We looked at eachother, “Yes!”
“Alright, my cars right over here,” she motioned us to follow her.
She explained that she lived a few hours away and had her own avocado orchard and had too many.
We listened politely thinking she had a few she was willing to share with us. Then she popped her trunk and bent over it. And as it lifted our eyes widened and we shot eachother a quick glance of surprise. Her trunk was LOADED FULL OF AVOCADOS!
She proceeded to fill a bag id brought with me- then with many thanks, and another round of hugs, we waved goodbye and proceeded down the street.
Out of their view we stopped and looked at eachother. What had just happened?!
No, we didnt experience exactly what we’d seen in our prayers, but the clues were all there.
We stopped at some steps and thanked God for the blessing of time with the ladies and avocados. Then we prayed for further direction.
We ended up finding the old man – who didnt want us to pray for him, but we prayed anyway as we walked away.
Then as the one team member still felt pressed to find the coffee shop (“although, maybe its just my desire for coffee..” she musted) we kept going. We placed our hands on a closed coffee shop we came across, and prayed for the workers and patrons before walking on still searching for an open coffee shop – and came across a man eating pizza.
“Yum! Cold pizza for breakfast!” I said, forgetting language barrier.
“Yes! I drank all night, so i need to eat!” Came the reply – in english! Which stopped our search momentarily.
We ended up talking for a bit and we learned he was a miner who came into town on his days off only to go back a few hours out into the hills to mine, that he’d grown up in Canada and now spent six months of the year there and six in Chile.
As our time was running out i asked him if he had any prayer requests. He asked that his 90 year old uncle be able to live out the last of his days well. “What about you?” I asked. “Do you have any life or body issues? Pains?”
“Me? No! Look at me!” He said smiling and flexing, trying to be all machmismo. Then he mumbled something about a knee injury.
“Your knee?!” I asked quickly.
“Yea…” he agreed reluctantly. “Its an old football injury.” (Football meaning soccer.)
“Ok,” i said. “I will pray for your uncle and then – is it ok if i put my hand on your knee? (He nodded) ok, then after i pray for your uncle, i will pray for your knee.”
“Ok,” he agreed. “I believe there is some power! I dont know who is god but i believe there is someone.” He seemed eager to show he wanted healing.
I prayed for his uncle and then the team all crouched and i laid my hand on his knee and started praying.
“And please!” he interjected. “Please tell him i really want to play again!”
So i prayed.
And when we finished i asked him to tell us how it felt. He stood and shook his head and leg, “Well, i really have to play to know! But give me your whatsapp! And next time if i play and it is healed i will message you and let you know!”
Our time running out – we went to a motorcycle shop we knew of and it being closed, we also laid our hands on its walls and prayed over it.
Then we went back to our hostel.
And we spent the next hour hearing everyones stories. CRAZY stories of buildings theyd seen in prayer that theyd found. Of seeing cells dividing and decided that it must mean they were to look for a pregnant woman and then meeting one pregnant woman after another – one of who was with their entire extended family all there for the birth.
There were people on benches needing prayer, there were teams just lead to walk around to pray for different places, there were people unwilling to recieve prayer and people prayed for that felt healing take place. – and more! It was so encouraging to hear all the stories.
So this is the story i have to share with you:
We are now in Argentina. There is poverty, there is pain, there is joy and life in the midst. We are staying at a ywam base an hour outside the city. Its dusty and the grass is full of thorny weeds. The place is surrounded by landfills. Theres a womans jail not far away, and a small poverty stricken place that Gods told me He wants to be a place of praise and testamony to His goodness. There’s a brothel nearbye: where women and children are trafficed. Theres gangs that regularly rob people who travel the unpaved road we travel on to get to the bus stop – which is just a random street corner youd never know was a bus stop, except for our hosts confidence that it is.
Inside my heart it often feels like a desert with occational oasises. And parts of me are screaming: both praises and frustrations as my heart encounters the beauty of the ywam base and the beauty of dark haired people whose eyes glow lightly in tanned faces; as i encounter struggles and irritations and doubts bubbling up from places ive already been – or places i didnt know existed inside me.
Beauty and the contradiction of emotion and thought.
As i sit with teammates whose lives scream Gods goodness. As the hedge of Gods protection against spiritual attacks becomes more and more apparent. As i encounter my own habits rooted in fears and insercurities and selfishness. As God breaks through my stubbornness with His sweet whispers of faithful loving kindness, as i lie awake in the dark and realize again the provision of God in the midst of all the areas of lack i have. As i watch little kids in clothes with random holes, hopping off the bus with their dusty backpack, and grin with a dirty face and sincere wave. Their little mud house with tin roof held down by bricks in the background. As i realize they will potentially never know the booshy neighborhood housing thats just a regular part of life in the states…
i think of the voice crying in the wilderness.
i think of Jesus’ tears.
and His call, “the kingdom of God is near.”
His promise that He is near the broken hearted.
I am thankful for this journey this year.
I hope you stay with me this year.
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Please pray for our teams continued safety and also for our hosts. There’s been random sicknesses, wierd and terrible dreams, a scorpion found under a pillow at end of day (and none seen elsewhere the entire time otherwise), breakins and robberies on base before we came, – and animals hit and killed in front of us.
Our squad spend an overnight prayer vigil over this and other team prayer requests, but your added prayers are greatly appreciated!
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Also there are still some financial needs, both on the squad and on the ywam base!
I am hoping to post more information about these needs soon!
One immediate need: one of my teammates is still needing to hit her november deadline! Please checkout her info here 🙂
gracebuxman.theworldrace.org
Please pray about partnering! Thanks and love from Argentina!
