Something y’all should know about me is that God speaks to me through music. I get some of the most profound ‘aha’ moments from listening to music. I recently heard a new song by my girl Reba McEntire. In Reba’s song she sings this phrase, “we need to give this world back to God.” What does that mean? It took a while for the truth of that statement to sink in. I believe its not just that this world needs a whole lot of Jesus. That is true and I’m so excited to play a role in that this year on the World Race, but what about myself? Have I given my world to God? There are certain times that I could answer that with a ‘yes’ but this season, I think I’ve missed the mark. I may have given my world to God when I said yes to living a year as a missionary but somewhere between then and now, I’ve picked up my worries instead of continually giving them to God.
I don’t know if you can identify with me in the current season in your own life but I have found through this process of fundraising and preparing for the race that I have been holding onto so much of my own insecurities. Insecurities that I know the good Lord is using this season to work out of me. I have found myself often worrying about finances, worrying about failing, not being good enough, not being spiritual enough, not having what it takes to be a missionary, that I’m not talented enough, or caring enough, supported or even loved enough. The list goes on and on, take my word for it! I have been putting my mind on these worries and lies believing what they say and as a result allowing them to immobilize me in fear and doubt. I haven’t given my world back to God. I’ve unknowingly kept myself and God in a box of cant’s and wont’s. I can’t do this and God won’t. In doing so I have given away my joy, isolated myself, and been stuck in pride to think this calling is depended on me to make it happen. I’m stepping back now to see this journey doesn’t have my finger prints on it, but God’s. I am not able to accomplish this goal on my own, but I am finding the truth in the statement that:
God does not call the equipped,
but equips the called.
This is a hard process but it is equipping me for the life God has purposed for me to live. He is humbling me, He is challenging me, He is growing me, and He is rooting out the lies the enemy wants me to believe. It’s painful but it is sweet. Everyday has its struggles but as C.S. Lewis puts it,
“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing yet had been done.”
I’m finding I can’t rely on the faith I had when I said yes to the World Race to carry me through this process. That faith must be renewed each day and I have to choose to believe that what God called me to, he will provide a way through. Everyday I have to choose to trust what He said in His word is truth. I can’t keep holding onto my world of insecurities and worries, each day I have to give them to God. I am 4 months away from flying to my first country to share the gospel, India. Already I am being stretched, challenged, and GROWN! Today I feel like I am stepping over my first hurdle and can look back and say with more certainty,
I trust God.
My first financial deadline is coming up! May 15th I will need to have my first $5,000 to secure my spot at training camp and route 2! Currently we have raised $2,500. If you feel led to support me and want to be apart of making this journey the success it WILL be, please leave a tax deductible donation here. Donate
Also, would you please consider partnering with me as a prayer partner by lifting up in prayer the 11 countries I will go to, my team, and myself as we go through this season of preparation for the mission field. If you feel led please email me at [email protected] if you would like to be on my prayer team. This group of people will receive specific prayer requests to lift up as I am on the field. Prayers are instrumental and this journey is not possible with out them!
Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace,
that we may receive mercy
and find grace to help in time of need.
Hebrews 4:16
