Lately
So here I am. Trying to come up with something to blog about. Not much has been going on within ministry, but God is for sure showing me there is more to life than just serving others. Yes, its amazing and really cool to serve those around you, but in order to do that, you need to be aware with yourself as well.
These past two months has been a huge growing experience with my walk with the Lord. I had not realized that I was pretty much trapped in this mindset of “Emotions do not exist.” You see, when I implanted this really dumb idea into my head, it closed off a ton of opportunities for spiritual and of course emotional growth. Emotions are NOT bad at all. But I know what you might be thinking “Showing emotions makes me look weak” and “No no, I don’t do the whole emotion thing.” I had to take a step back from my pride and realize that emotions are actually a key thing in life to experience.
I am the type of person to bottle everything up and just let it all out by myself in a closed off area or just save it for a time to let it out on someone randomly. This is definitely not how to deal with emotions. Holding it all in the insides of us, creates this internal war with our heads and really just messes up our health and does not create the best relationships with people and especially the Lord.
The Lord has been knocking down this wall and really opening up the space I need to communicate to my teammates and to Him that I really am feeling an emotion like sadness or anger and that it is totally fine to feel that way. I am learning more and more that communication about my emotions really matter and people want to actually know how I am doing on the inside and they want to come around me and comfort me and help me with the best they can. In the Bible Ecclesiastes states, “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;” and Romans 12:15 says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” Also, don’t forget but even Jesus wept (John 11:35) like what??? Jesus crying? Yeah! Crazy!
Expressing emotions is this wild and unpredictable thing, but when you bring it to the Lord in the right space and the exact timing, then you can learn so much from it. I am no longer worried to share my sadness with others or my anger, for the Lord will allow me to grow when I do and he will allow me to see the fruit that it bears.
On a side note, my team is doing really great here in Chile and this past month has been such a blessing to me. I am even more excited to let you guys in on something really cool for next month, but that will be on a separate blog next month. ALSO, merry Christmas to everyone!! It’s super crazy that this is my first Christmas away from home and it’s definitely going to be really different and unforgettable!
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