I’m starting to realize how crazy this trip actually is.
I’m leaving everything that I created for myself. Almost 3 years ago I took a leap of faith and moved to Arizona, only knowing the person I was living with. From that point on I created a life for myself. For once I wasn’t categorized into being a Callaway, so I took it and ran with it. I instantly invested myself in the things here. I missed Oregon like crazy, especially my friends who were moving along without me, but that didn’t stop me from being where I was. I wanted to be known and to be loved. So I got a job, I invested in my classes, I invested in my peers and all of these things brought the results that I was desiring. I was soon immersed in a life that brought about a community that I am thankful for everyday. I had places to go for holidays that weren’t spent in Oregon, I had couches to sleep on if I ever needed it, and I have people here that would drop anything if I really needed their help. But here I am, thinking about the idea of leaving this place I have called home for so long, and I can’t even begin to comprehend it. So this got me thinking about how crazy this trip is. I have created so much for myself in these past 3 years and I am just going to leave….
Who does that?!
I have a job that I love with a long term career that could come out of it and I just starting getting invested in a church, so naturally now would be the time that I would leave all that behind… Right?
All of this reality hit me hard when I was hanging out with someone who I consider to be part of my Arizona family. She is someone I know I can be comfortable with, where nothing is forced, and it was then that a glimpse of the future sank in. Come May, she will be leaving for the summer and that is the last time I will see her for over a year. If I’m being honest, coming to this realization brought about the biggest doubt in the Race that I have yet to experience. I didn’t want to leave this life that I have. I didn’t want to leave the friendships I have cultivated. I REALLY didn’t want to leave the job that I have. But that’s the thing that so many racers have blogged about in the past, leaving is not easy. It is easily one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, and I haven’t even had to completely do it yet! But God has never called me to something so clearly. All of these friendships built, obstacles overcome, and memories formed were all in preparation for this call that God has on my life.
Yeah, I’m crazy for doing this. I’m leaving everything that is comfortable to me but ultimately God is calling me to something greater. It brings to mind the song Nothing I Hold Onto by the United Pursuit Band where it says over and over, “I lean not on my own understanding, my life is in the hands of the Maker of Heaven” I really don’t understand why I have to leave. At all. But luckily I get the privilege of resting in His promises daily. Knowing that I don’t need to understand for Him to use me. He’ll do that anyways.
I have a lot more to fundraise, and so many things to do before I leave Arizona, but I am constantly reminded that this is the calling God has placed on my life. With that being said, thank you SO MUCH to all of you have already supported me. I can’t express to you guys how humbled I am by all of this! Thank you thank you thank you!
