Abandon. God slammed that word right in my face. Last week we had an event called awakening, where 2 other world race squads came together to worship and do ministry together in Quito. We were all sitting in silence in the room to just listen to the Lord. God put the word abandon in my head. I was confused, I said “what? God I left America and gave up starting college for this mission you put in front of me, how am I not abandoning things?” He said no Brooke, abandon yourself. Oh.
I believed that abandonment meant giving things up. And that is part of it, but I wasn’t realizing that abandoning myself was entirely different. When I say yes to God, that means I have to give Him complete control, without letting my own insecurities and desires get in the way. My life cannot be lead without a Savior. Even though I am following through with what God wants from me, I still doubt and I still worry. Because I’m human. But God says give your worries to Me, abandon yourself, and put Me first.
When I gave my life to Christ I abandoned who I was, and let Him define my life. And abandonment is apart of the Christian journey. It’s something I will always have to do, because it will direct me to where God wants me to be. Always. I will always be more fulfilled the more I give up to the Lord. So I’ll continue to abandon who I am for who He is.
Update: my squad is now living in Quito, Ecuador! My team works at a special needs daycare. It’s a very hard, but fulfilling ministry. I am already so attached to the kids there. God is already working in some amazing ways. More updates to come!
