Dear Future Me,
Congratulations you’ve been home from the World Race for a year and you survived!!
Now, it’s been a year and I’m sure lots of things have happened. I know we had big plans a year ago and I can only imagine that they have been fulfilled—but if not, I know that it is because God had something planned bigger for our life than we could even fathom.
Now, I want you to take a few minutes and sit down and reflect and evaluate yourself.
Do you remember the Race? Not just the adventures, but also the not so fun times—the times of growth, the times of tears, the times of questions, and the times of brokenness. Do you?
I want you to remember the lessons we learned during our year abroad. We had so many experiences packed into those 11 months that I am sure they are difficult to remember. So I’m going to help remind you—month by month.
Do you remember launch?
We put on a front of being excited, and while that was true, we were also terrified—which we tried our best to hide. Not that we did it that well, but nonetheless. We were excited to start the new adventure of living out the great commission and going to multiple countries to share the Gospel. Yet, we were also terrified. Not of going, but of leaving. You always thought it was your responsibility to hold everything together back home and the fact that you were going to be gone for a year was almost too much to handle. But at launch we learned to “let go and let God.” We learned, and continued to walk in throughout the Race, the knowledge that “back home can, and will, function in our absence” and that was a great and freeing lesson! I pray that you remember this lesson now that you have been home for a year. And actually, I pray that you realize that while Oregon, Ohio has a special place in our heart that home is where you make it. Do you remember all of those months that we called wherever we were staying home? Home can be wherever you make it. So I pray that you have gathered enough courage by now to spread your wings and fly (God leading) and realize that being physically away from people doesn’t mean you love them any less.
Now, do you remember Month 1?
Month 1 was our hardest month. Working with high school boys was not our forte, by any means, but we made it through—not only that, we excelled. We learned how to be away from home and family and let it sink in that we would not be home for a very long time. Remember those days of waking up at 4:30a to meet the boys at the bus stop to go play sunrise basketball? Remember the conversations with Paula at the courts? Remember George and the beautiful friendships that came out of that month? Do you remember the time that you burnt the soles of your feet off because we decided it was a good idea to climb the cement pyramid in 100+ degree weather? Do you remember the lesson of grace and forgiveness you learned through that? Do you? I don’t want you to forget.
Do you remember playing the drums in a skirt? Do you remember Abiding’s THP—it’s still applicable to life. Fiercely pursue righteousness with intentionality, humility, and love—are you still doing that now, a year after being home? I hope so.
Lastly, do you remember the struggle of listening and following through with what God had very clearly told you to do? Right now, the fruit hasn’t come from it, but there has been healing over time for ourself. I pray often that by the time that you are reading this God’s promise will be fulfilled; but if not, God is still faithful.
Month 2 – What do you remember?
The biggest thing that I would say that came out of this month for us was the inner healing. Do you remember that—the freedom that you experienced through that? Are you still walking in that freedom? I pray that you are. Also, do you remember how to distinguish the voices in our head? Are you still listening to God’s voice and His alone? I hope and pray that you are not listening to the voice of Satan any longer. You are worthy. You are wanted. You are God’s beloved—just look at your wrist for a reminder whenever you need one.
Do you remember shaving Marissa’s head? Do you remember sharing your story with Patricia and her words for you—restoration and detox? Looking back on the Race I have seen restoration and detoxification happen so readily in our life. Detoxification occurred when we let go of unhealthy relationships and then restoration happened when we fully surrendered to God and was open, honest, and vulnerable with Him about the things we have struggled with our entire life. Do you still live in the freedom that has come from the restoration and detoxification? If not, why not? Go back and prune yourself. Ask God what needs to be rid of in your life and trust Him that He will provide the means and ability for you to not only do it but also survive those trying times—they certainly are not easy and are rarely pain-free.
This was a month of a lot of lessons for us. I pray that you don’t forget the communication skills you began to learn this month. Remember the letter you wrote to Madie and Teresa? If not, look back on the planner to September 15th and 16th. Last but not least, don’t forget September 17th—the day we got baptized. It will forever be a day to remember.
Onward to Month 3.
Starting out with a funny memory… do you remember our quality bonding time with Alexis on the bus? If not, go look at October 1st in the planner. Do you remember going to Greece? It wasn’t in the way that we had hoped for initially—truth be told when we found out other teams were going to Lesvos for the month, we were salty beyond belief. But, God works in mysterious ways and the trip to Greece was wonderful nonetheless. It was relaxing, rejuvenating, and an insight into some of the ways that God wants to woo us as His beloved.
Is Luke 1:45 still our life verse, or has God revealed a new one yet? (Luke 1:45 – Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!) Remember the infamous Journey Markers that we wrote this month—have you followed it into the work-place setting yet? Additionally, do you remember Miss Slovka? What a lady. It was incredible to see her flourish though determination, encouragement, and the love of Christ outpouring from all of the people surrounding her. So, lastly, do you remember your struggle from this month? I pray that we never get numb to those people around us. If someone looks sad, why not go up to them and at the very least give them a hug? Well, maybe offer a hug… it may be awkward if you just walk up to a stranger and hug them without saying a word. What’s the worst that could happen—you look like a weirdo for a few minutes? Been there, done that. Do it again anyway.
Wow, at this point we made it through Europe. What a crazy first three months we had; yet, so much more than we could have even imagined happened in the next eight months. Do you remember? I hope so.
Month 4 – Penang, Malaysia.
Do you remember how God was faithful even before we got to where we were staying? We were told to expect a 20 minute hike to the YWAM housing area, and 10 minutes in we broke down in tears due to the physicality of it. Do you remember praying, ‘Lord, please make this hurry up? I physically can’t carry my pack much longer—I’m in severe pain.’ And lo and behold, right around the corner was where we were staying!
Do you remember that first day going to the mainland? Seeing the looks of desperation on the faces of the refugees? Do you remember being stunned that evening when you realized how God protected y’all by closing the borders to Turkey which prevented you from leaving Europe when you were supposed to? It saved our group from traveling in the midst of some of the most severe flooding that Penang had ever experienced. What seemed like a bad thing in the moment turned out to actually be God protecting us—I know there are parallels here to everyday life. What can you apply it to nowadays?
Do you remember PenHOP? Just everything about that place was incredible and we couldn’t get enough time there. The atmosphere was incredible, but it is also important to remember that that atmosphere can be cultivated anywhere where there is like-minded Christians coming together to worship God and pray and where the Holy Spirit dwells. Don’t forget that. You don’t have to go overseas to experience God and His presence.
What about Eddy? Do you remember him? He was one of our first experiences with evangelism mixed with discipleship and he asked some hard questions. But it was a wonderful and beautiful experience and friendship that was built between us, Jenn, and him. I hope he is doing well and that he loves the Lord. Do you remember Thanksgiving? Despite being the butt of a lot of Abiding’s jokes, it was still a good and much needed day. Awkward? Yes. Needed? Absolutely. I hope you remember that sometimes having those hard conversations shows the depths of how much you love the people around you.
Last but not least, do you remember Firez Camp? I bet you do. Singlehandedly it has been one of our favorite memories from while on the Race. The kids were honest and real and the worship was powerful. I pray that we have found community like this within our year of being home.
I’m sure you remember Thailand, huh?
The spiritual oppression of the Buddhist temples and the warfare surrounding the red-light district? Remember the night at debrief that we broke down sobbing on the side of the road? That night was designed to be a night of going out to evangelize to the ladies and Johns of the sex-trafficking industry, but God had other plans for us. We were the one who needed healing that night. The sights completely broke us. Seeing the lackluster looks in the women’s eyes and then seeing all of the Johns. I don’t even have words for it; maybe now you do? Probably not. It’s crazy to see how much the pornography industry in American (or anywhere in the world for that matter) has an effect on the sex-trafficking industry. It’s an economy in and of itself and if when the demand lessons from the Johns—mostly tourists—the supply will decrease and many women will find physical freedom. I hope and pray that the women there find freedom in Christ also.
Do you remember dancing at the rehab center? This was the month we decided to love and dance with abandon. We decided that if it brought joy to the men there, it didn’t matter how many times we peed our pants (which was every time). We made up our mind to just dance and praise God will every fiber of our being—it was incredibly freeing and the love of God was shown throughout. Do you also remember sharing our testimony at the rehab center? That was right in the middle of being sick, and we told God that if He wanted us to speak, our throat had to not hurt during the person speaking before us. Do you remember what happened? Those 10 minutes was the ONLY time that our throat didn’t hurt. So we shared our testimony, and it went wonderfully.
Now, I’m sure you remember learning and applying the phrase, “everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” Yeah, that phrase defined our month. It was a hard, but necessary lesson to learn. And a lesson to continue to remind ourself of on a daily basis, even now one year after being home. Is there anything that is permissible in your life right now, but it isn’t necessarily beneficial? If so, pray about it and get rid of it. It is better to remain under God and His plan for our life than to have some momentary fun.
Lastly, do you remember the not-so-silent discos—a place to worship and praise God at the top of your lungs and no one else can hear you because you all have your headphones in and music at the highest volume possible. It’s not good for our ears, but oh well. Worshipping God is worth it. Do you remember the time Abiding had our first not-so-silent disco and Thomas came in to ask us to be a little quieter because Alex had a headache and everyone noticed but Marissa? Yeah, good times.
Oh, I guess one more thing about Thailand. Do you remember communion right before team changes? That was rough, but absolutely beautiful and it taught us how to healthily mourn and let go of bonds in order to learn how to grab hold of a new “family” (team) in a healthy manner. Bonus, we were able to have Melissa on our second team too and it was wonderful to have her the entire 11 months—we learned a lot from her.
Month 6 – Myanmar
Oh Mandalay, Myanmar… this was the month God stripped us of our self-given identity and proclaimed a new one for us, “Beloved.” At the moment of me writing this we are still learning how to truly live in this identity, but it is a continual work in progress. How is it going now?
Remember teaching English twice a day? Teaching isn’t/wasn’t our forte (have you come to enjoy it more?) but we went with it and it became fun. The mornings were more difficult, but we learned so much patience this month—not only with the women who were our students, but also with our new teammates. English club at night with the University students, was always a blast. They knew a decent amount of English so this was more conversational and relational. Remember? We taught them so many line dances this month and each night was a dance party.
This was the first month with team Mirador, and although it was a little bit rocky, it was still a great month to begin to bond with each other. Remember having to lock Alex’s cabinet so she would stop eating her snacks? And remember all of the take-out pizza we had to eat? Yeah… we got annoyed with pizza that month, but it was better than the alternative. God bless the ladies that the hostel. I hope and pray that they are doing well.
Lastly, this was the month where we truly learned how to lay down what we wanted and to “do it anyway.” Are we still following that mentality?
Remember Awakening in Cambodia? We had the pleasure of visiting an extra country for a week! This was a week of pressing into God and listening to Him. We also learned a lot about the other squads who were with us, which was incredible. This week we learned to check the spirit of comparison real hard—but it was so worth it.
In hindsight, Asia was rough—physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Hiking with packs almost broke our back; but God fulfilled His promises and help came. He broke us down to nothing and stripped away everything we were trying to cling to in order to build us back up into the image that He envisioned for us. Yet, these three months I wouldn’t change for anything. So much freedom was found here in Asia that it was well worth all of the difficult moments. I pray to God that you will remember and be continuing to live in that freedom.
Wow, this was the point we made it to Africa!
I know you remember Month 7—our glutes are probably still sore from all of the walking—but regardless, it was a beautiful month. Although remember that first day? We got there around 1a and then had to be up for church at 6a—not the most fun, but we made it through and this month was an adventure.
Do you remember all of the preaching? At the church, at the prison, at the hospital, and at the soup kitchens. We did it all and it was a wonderful learning experience. I think my favorite moment was preaching at the prison when we spoke on our identities in Christ. We learned to face our fears of public speaking on so many different occasions and we learned how to write a sermon when all we have is the Holy Spirit and our bible. It was wonderfully terrifying. Do you remember? We grew in so much boldness that month.
Do you remember gardening? That was such a blessing to just get our feet dirty, be in the earth, and marvel at God’s creation. Do you have a place where you can grow a garden now? Even if it’s just a windowsill, you should start one!
What about prayer walking up to the High School and then becoming the center of attention of ALL of the students? We did “stunts” off of rocks and performed the Church Clap… again. That was such a hit this year. Do you still remember the dance? I’d be shocked if you don’t.
Lastly, do you remember the St. Clair family? They were such a blessing to us this month. They welcomed us into their house with open arms and became the closest thing to our families back home that we had in months. They taught us so much about what Christ-like hospitality looks like, do you still open your house up to anyone who is in need? I hope so. I also hope and pray that the St. Clair’s move to Spain went well and that God is leading their ministry.
Next came our first “wow” country—South Africa.
What a blessing the people at Love Story were to our team.
Do you remember Verner from our first night at city feed? I hope he is doing well and has found himself in a better place in life by now.
Do you remember what Luke told us about how being strong can be both a strength and a weakness if not used carefully. Have you built up the walls that we worked so carefully to tear down? I certainly hope not. If so, why? Do you remember what he said about unforgiveness? If not go look in your journal from March 10th.
Do you remember performing “run away kid” duty at the Valley Market Concert? Or even being the person working the nacho stand? Despite being hectic that was such a fun day.
Do you remember meeting Edward and Niko at city feed? They were awesome people with incredible stories. We learned to get over our fear of going up and talking to random people this month.
Do you remember when we had our septum pierced for a full 20 hours? Do you have it repierced yet? I hope so. That’s part of my plan at least.
Lastly, do you remember the night we all went over to Luke and Elaine’s house and made dinner? First, dinner was a huge success… but second, and more important, do you remember the little girl with the firetruck? Don’t forget her. Ever.
Wow, after this was PVT—what a crazy wonderful week.
Do you remember when you realized mom was with Mrs. Erika in the van before everyone else got there? It was such a surreal moment and all of the emotions quickly ensued. Secondly, do you then remember when dad was the first person off of the bus and we ran up to him and gave him a hug too?
Do you also remember being in awe of mom going up to people at the mall and evangelizing? Man, that is such a spiritual gift of hers. Do you also remember walking around with dad and watching him evangelize to people too? We were so proud.
Now came Zimbabwe—one of the most difficult months emotionally.
Do you remember that border crossing? Nothing else is needed to be said.
Do you remember all of the babies? They were so sweet and tender hearted. Remember the girl that became our sidekick for the time that she was there? Remember the little deaf boy, who was so intelligent and expressive? We loved them so much—with our whole heart. Which then broke when the older kids had to move homes, do you remember that?
This month we learned how to truly put into practice the phrase, “loving hard and holding loosely.” This month was a month that is indescribable. If you need a refresher, just go look at your pictures of all of the kids and your heart will swell with emotion. I promise you.
This was the end of Africa, and it had been an incredible nine months thus far.
But it was time to head to the Caribbean and go to Haiti.
Montrouis, Haiti was difficult in the strangest of ways, but we loved it nonetheless. Is Haiti still a closed country for EWB? They are a country that could greatly benefit from an organization like that.
Do you remember all of the JAM (Jezi ak Mwen,/Jesus and Me) clubs we hosted? All of the kids there were so joyful and just wanted to be loved.
Do you remember the time we went out evangelizing and ended up carrying the water buckets for the women going up the mountain? They even accepted Christ that day—it was beautiful. Do you remember?
Do you remember the Sundays when all of the local youth would swarm around us to go swimming at the beach? It was amazing to focus upon the children, but the sight of the trash at the beach was heartbreaking in-and-of itself.
Do you remember the Matthew 25 houses? The day we made balloon armor and animals for the men and the days we spent dancing with the women? They always brought a smile to our face. Do you ever go to nursing homes just to hang out with the people there? If not, you should start.
Lastly, do you remember Woodson? What an awesome young man. His tenacity for life is incredible and he has beat so many odds in life. I wonder how he is doing now? Have you heard an update lately? That ministry this month was our favorite because we got to know Alexis and Pastor Res on such a deeper level during the many conversations walking to and from Woodson’s house.
We struggled a lot with complacency this month, but ultimately we pushed through and it blossomed into something beautiful.
This month has been interesting. For the first part of it we worked on our laptop 70+ hours in order to set up a proposal for AIM. Did it ever work out? I certainly hope so, but either way, I know that is what God had led us to focus upon.
Do you remember going to the church that Caleb had partnered with and after the service jumping into the dance team’s practice and then teaching them the Church Clap? It was a fun night, but we felt fairly sick afterwards due to so much activity after eating. Not our brightest moment, but still fun.
Do you remember fighting through the thoughts that this month was wasting away? It wasn’t. God had a plan for it. It has been an incredible month of personal growth and realization as well as community. Which is something we won’t ever get back.
It’s hard to believe that I leave for final debrief in two days. I’m excited, but nervous. But I know that trusting God will lead to the best life possible for both of us. I hope and pray that you still believe that.
So did you end up getting the job we wanted? Was it all we imagined it would be?
Do I have a boyfriend yet? (Ya know, the essential girl question.)
How’s life going?
Are you happy? I certainly hope so.
With all of my love and prayers,
-Bethany, June 15, 2018
