How to bake cookies for your English teachers birthday in other countries:
Step 1: go to store and try to find ingredients that are similar to American ones.
Step 2: look confused and laugh slightly when the store people giggle at you when you ask where the baking soda is.
Step 3: find the baking soda is weird stomach tablet packets in the pepto bismal aisle and shrug because theoretically it should work the same, right?
Step 4: take note that you cannot remove two butter sticks from package and buy them separately, you have to buy the entire pack. Go back into store after checking out the rest of the ingredients to buy the butter.
Step 5: explode gas oven once you get home. To do so: Turn gas on with ministry host, light starter flame, close door to preheat, and please stand back as the oven door is blown open and a fireball flies out toward you, singeing your eyebrows and making your hair fly up behind you. Please note, not for the faint of heart.
Step 6: go preheat another gas oven in the little house next to you. Figure out that only muffin tins fit into that tiny oven and bring back to main kitchen.
Step 7: cut up lots of Hershey kisses into chip size pieces because no other chocolate could be found. Remember to have teammate cut finger in process.
Step 8: mix all ingredients like normal, but realize that the flour you bought is corn flour, making the entire batter taste like tortillas.
Step 9: add (accidentally) a whole lot more vanilla to make it taste more like cookies. It doesn’t work, by the way.
Step 10: decide to bake anyways in muffin tins because why not.
Step 11: take out and taste. Yup, they taste like cornbread with chocolate.
Step 12: feed them to the boys and buy donuts for her.
