We arrived in Bulgaria a couple weeks ago, it was underwhelming to say the least. Ministry here is a lot of cleaning, manual labor, and a bit of teaching English, plus sharing songs and a message on Sundays; it is actually extremely fun to work together as a team to get these things accomplished. It’s definitely the least relational month I’ve ever had on the race. For someone like me, it makes the month that much more difficult, because I see relationships as progress and actually making a difference. My team and I all had a LOT to process after Romania as well as the reality of the race coming to a close and “real life” started closing in around us. But God’s been in the details and has eased some of our anxiety and has definitely given us the blessing of each other to lean on, pray with, and encourage one another in whatever God is calling us to, even if that’s just to wait and rest.
We had the chance to travel to Greece over a couple of our free days. GREECE y’all. That’s a bucket list thing if there ever was one(for me anyway). Where we are located in Bulgaria had us just a few hours away and it made for the perfect opportunity. So we all traveled to Thessaloniki, Greece together. After waiting over three hours for our late train to arrive at our second stop(apparently there was a collision with a car—WHAT), and then finally making it on and settling in to our seats we quickly were made aware we needed Euros not Bulgarian Lev and that the tickets we had did not apply to the train we were currently on and that we would have to get off at the next stop. THEY ARE KICKING US OFF THE TRAIN. I continued to look at the guy in charge as he walked by with puppy dog eyes and prayed that God would give him a spirit of generosity-seriously though. We also met a friend on the train who spoke English and tried to explain our situation to the guy in charge. After MUCH turmoil, he said we could ride free this time. BLESSINGS. And so we arrived in Thessaloniki around 1 am. We got there and it was beautiful and I can’t wait to see more of Greece someday…it was one of those rare…”I’m just living my life” moments and not an “I’m on the world race” moment.
While preparing to go out to dinner as a team by the Aegean Sea, I see an email from our squad mentor with important information. How I wish I could go back in time and NOT open that email until much. much later. But this is me we are talking about and I wanted the details of this important information. *opens email and sees the words TEAM CHANGES and FLIGHTS HOME* Not what you want all in one email, especially when you’re having such a freaking awesome time. Stress levels rise, heart pounds, and if you’ve ever been broken up with suddenly….this is pretty much how this email felt. I try to hold it together as we all walk to the water front to find a place for dinner. We agree on a place, gather around the table, and I realize this is probably the last time the six of us will ever do this, our last adventure days together, and this is our last month together. I couldn’t imagine going in to Africa without these ladies and I didn’t want to. I so wanted to finish this year with them by my side. Team Wolf Pack. We held hands and I begin to pray over the meal(fully intending on a beautiful “I love you guys so much” prayer), but as soon as the words “Thank you Jesus for this team” leaves my mouth, I began to cry and couldn’t pull it together and so I quickly said, “I’m sorry guys, bless this food and Jesus, I gotta go.” Opened my eyes and everyone had tears in their eyes too and we were all kinda like, “what was that!?” I didn’t expect to be overcome with emotion in the middle of a restaurant. I joked that this was like the last supper and we all took pictures, laughed, and enjoyed the beautiful sunset that God painted just for us that night(I’m telling you, He was like THIS is for the Wolf Pack).
Then began the logistics of flights back to our prospective states, how we were trying to figure out how much time is going to be needed before seeing family and friends and being overwhelmed with all the questions and love. We WANT to answer all your questions, we want to see you, we also may not be ready to do so until after we’ve had a few days(or a week)to process and sleep and talk to Jesus. Be patient with us. Personally, I wasn’t expecting to see my flights home and it be as insanely overwhelming as it was. But it was. It still is. It’s a LOT y’all.
Most of the team(including me)has been pretty sick while in Bulgaria(we are pretty sure there is a concern of mold—not what you want). So as you can imagine we are all feeling a lot of things and not feeling well makes taking things in stride a little more difficult. We have three months left, we are going to AFRICA, we are having TEAM CHANGES before we leave Europe, and our flights are booked to head back to the USA. I’m overwhelmed and sad and excited and possibly a little frightened. It’s a lot at once and it’s hard to know what to set aside, what to allow yourself to think about, and how to stay present where you are all at the same time. It’s one of those times in life when it’s like a moment by moment thing of giving it over to Jesus— no matter how many times and reminding yourself—you don’t carry this alone.
