Grace. What is it? Do I even know? Sitting here on the eve of the greatest day in history and all I can think to myself is: I’m really bad at grace(just read that again, I can’t even give myself grace about being bad at grace). Do I give grace to others? Sure. Up to a point. Do I give grace to myself? Rarely. But where’s the stopping point to grace? Where’s the line? When is too far too far? Where does it end?
Tomorrow we will celebrate the life and sacrifice and resurrection of our JESUS. Who gave it ALL. ALL OF IT for me, for you, for everyone who has ever been born. With His blood we were given grace, love, forgiveness, freedom, and healing. “In Him we have redemption [that is, our deliverance and salvation] through His blood, [which paid the penalty for our sin and resulted in] the forgiveness and complete pardon of our sin, in accordance with the riches of His grace”
??EPHESIANS? ?1:7? ?AMP?
So as I sit here continuing to put myself through penance for what I think isn’t measuring up to who He has called me to be, I was hit with EASTER. And all God has done and did for ME(and you). He gave it all and Jesus suffered horrifically so I could be free of these burdens, so I could have grace upon grace. So that I could be completely pardoned of any wrong doing. And I’m sitting here saying no. No I can’t take anymore of your grace. And what does that make of His great sacrifice? He died on that cross so we could be saved through faith and be given grace freely. How much does it hurt Him when we say no to a gift that was purchased at such a high expense? How would we feel if we sacrificed something to buy someone we love something amazing and then they said no because they didn’t think they deserved it? We do things for people we love not because they deserve it, but because we LOVE them. And that’s the same for Jesus. We don’t deserve any of it, yet He gives it all freely anyway because He loves us so dang much.
So back to the question of where does grace end? In lamentations 3 it talks about God’s steadfast love and how it NEVER ceases and that His mercies[grace]never end. IT DOESN’T END. There is no stopping point or line. There is no you’ve gone too far this time or that was strike three. There’s just grace and then more grace and then more grace and then…you get the idea.
So while I still don’t feel super awesome in this current moment. I know everything is going to be okay. Jesus made it okay. He made it more than okay. He gave His life for me. Who DOES that. Y’all. He is so good. *sobbing* And then He ran outta that grave, because the tomb couldn’t contain His love. Love overcame death.
Sharing the imperfection and struggles of my own life honestly…it stings a little bit. I’m legit a hot mess. But I thought to myself, what if *someone* out there reads this and doesn’t feel super awesome either? What if they “know” all about Easter and God’s grace, but need a little reminder too? What if they need to remember to just take the grace upon grace and sit in it and allow the healing to begin again? To hear the truth that not giving yourself grace is like telling Jesus no and that He made a mistake-and who the hec wants to tell Jesus He’s wrong? Or hurt Him?! Not me. And probably not you either.
He just wants to love me. He just wants to love you. But when we keep Him at arms length it’s hard to feel His love or believe the things He’s saying to our hearts. Let Him be near you. And don’t fret when it’s day two and you’re not “fixed” yet. Because even if it’s slowly, He’s gonna pull it all back together. “So I say to my soul, “Don’t be discouraged. Don’t be disturbed. For I know my God will break through for me.” Then I’ll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again. Yes, living before his face is my saving grace!”
??Psalms? ?42:11? ?TPT??
