This last month in Zimbabwe we had the opportunity to work in many different areas of Bulawayo Baptist church. We worked with the youth, hung out with young adults, worked in a soup kitchen, and met with people in a squatters village and schools. Of all the ministry we did this month though, I was most excited about the opportunity to paint in the nursery at the church. It was all planned out and I knew exactly what I was going to do and how I was going to do it. We got started and painted giant circles on the wall that everyone said looked like eggs, and I was ready to get started on the base paint and drawing the next day, but as I went to bed that night I realized that something was wrong and woke up the next morning with the stomach flu. I was stuck in bed for two days and knew that once it was time to get back to painting I was going to have to rush to get it finished in time.
It was in that moment I debated with myself, “Do I put myself under a lot of pressure to finish these paintings alone, or do I give up control and allow my teammates to help me?” So I had to decide who I wanted to be and how I wanted to react to the situation. I procrastinate often at home so I am use to working under pressure, but I know how bad it has been for me and how often I always say, “I’m never going to do that again.” and I continue to do it time and time again. So I decided to allow my teammates to help me, no matter what. No matter their skill level, how steady their hand was, or how many times they messed up, I was going to stay calm and allow them to help.
The first day it was hard. We had some mess ups, some not so pretty paint jobs, and some paint on the floor, and it was hard for me to have a vision and not be able to complete it from start to finish all by myself.
Once I got past the fear of letting go of control I laughed with my team and watched them all laugh and enjoy themselves do the paintings. I knew then that:
1. I would have never finished it on my own
2. It was more fun and joyful to allow others into something I am so passionate about
One day as I was helping mix paints I realized that everyone had a job and was painting and I was just standing there watching each of them. Something I would normally become very anxious about I became excited at the fact that not only did they like helping me, but they were actually enjoying what they were doing. I started wondering why I never let others help before, and wondered how many relationships and laughs I missed out on because of it.
I’m learning through these paintings that it doesn’t matter how perfect the pictures turn out or how much praise you get for doing it alone. I’m learning how enjoyable it can be when others are involved, and I’m learning that even if it is a little hard to watch others work on your art, in the end it will all be okay. Hop over to my Instagram or Facebook to see pictures of the process!
