This isn’t where I thought I would be.
Sitting on the patio overlooking both Costa Rican mountains and the city, I opened a conversation about this with God. With a blanket wrapped around my shoulders, I hunched over my journal blazing truths about how being here instead of there doesn’t mean I received second prize.
I’ve written about this before, but there are a lot of babies on my news feed. I have close friends that are married, have a baby, a second baby, and possibly even a third child. My Instagram feed went from road trips, friends together, and pictures of dogs to engagement photo sessions, families, and pictures of babies sometimes with said dog. They have established careers that enable them to afford a house, tuck money away into their 401K, pay off student loans, and afford multiple cars. A lot of “these people” are my friends who I love dearly.
I thought I would fall somewhere in that lifestyle. I thought I would establish a career as a Physician Assistant, work in pediatrics, get married to an amazing man, have kids, and have get togethers with my friend’s families. That’s what I pictured.
I never pictured that I would be in Costa Rica on month 10 of 11 months of traveling the world for the sole reason that I am in love with Jesus. I never thought I’d not be making a profit or income for a year. Or that I would be meeting new people and hearing new languages every month.
I think I never thought I would because it isn’t what’s expected. It’s not what is popular. Thinking on it this morning, I don’t think I wanted the marriage-baby-401K lifestyle right now. Maybe I only thought I did. I cannot imagine my life without these past 9 ½ months and being right here where I am. The Lord knows my heart and this is where He has me for this season of my life. Honestly, this season is almost to an end with simply a month and a half remaining.
Right now in this time of my life, I wouldn’t trade this season for marriage vows and my own house instead because I’ve crashed and ran in the abundance of freedom that Christ offers me. That He offers you. I’ve grown. I’ve been challenged. I’ve realized things I’ve never realized before.
There’s no better path. The one I am on versus yours isn’t better and yours versus mine doesn’t win. The only path our feet should tread is the one that glorifies God. The one that He fashioned our feet on because it’s what is full of life, goodness, and transformation.
This isn’t where I thought I would be but it doesn’t mean it isn’t where I should be.
All of our lives won’t mirror each other. If they did, the world would be a drag and drained of diversity, colors, and unique stories. You aren’t doing this thing called life wrong because yours looks different than the person beside you. You can also live a beautiful, rich story even if it does appear similar to another.
