Hello everyone!!!
I have been in the Philippines for almost 3 weeks now! Life here is great. We live in the upstairs of a rustic church on the top of a mountain. Me and 14 other girls share two rooms of bunk beds. The pastor, his wife and family also live here with us. Mama Jo, the pastors wife, so graciously cooks us all of our meals. Authentic Philippino food is only one of the blessings we have here!
Our ministry here is fairly different than it was in South Africa, but I have no doubt that it is where the Lord intentionally placed me. In South Africa, our ministry was very very structured. In other words, it would have been hard not to pay attention to the Lord in every second of the day. Ministry was mentally, spiritually and physically draining – in such a good way. This type of nonstop, all day long ministry was hard, but it caused me to grow in countless ways. It caused me to have to rely on the lord for energy, strength, wisdom, rest, comfort and much more. In that season of ministry, the Lord felt very close. I could feel the presence of the Lord in my life because I had to really rely on it, because I needed it.
But here in the Philippines, I could most definitely go through my whole day without paying any attention to Jesus. I could paint the whole church (which we already did) and I could tutor countless 2nd graders in reading a language I don’t even speak (also true) without having to lean on Jesus for strength.
But isn’t that how it’s going to be at home?
I could nanny all summer, go to college, do my homework, go to hockey games, see family, and see friends with out having to rely on Jesus. But I don’t want to mosey my way through life like this.
I see this as a really cool and intentional gift from the Lord.
This is a gift because even though it may seem like I don’t need Jesus, I want Jesus. And just like any friendship or relationship, it means so much more when it is chosen rather than forced. It’s a simple thought.
In the movie God Not Dead, a really cool idea is explained. It all boils down to one question. “Why do bad things happen to people who love Jesus while people who pay no attention to him live an easy, wealthy and lavish life?” In response a new question is asked, “why would the devil ever give someone a reason to need Jesus in their life?”.
In one of Jesus most famous teachings, the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus explains something like this.
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.”
Matthew 5:3-5 NIV
On the surface, this teaching seems completely crazy. How are the “poor in spirit” blessed? How is it a blessed thing to be in a season of “mourning”? And how in the world is a good thing to be considered “meek”?
But Gods mind often works in the opposite way of the world.
In this teaching, Jesus is showing how it is a blessed thing to need to rely on the lord.
This is how it is rewritten in my message bible:
“You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.
You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.
You’re blessed when you’re content with just who you are—no more, no less. That’s the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can’t be bought.”
??Matthew? ?5:3-5 ?MSG??
It’s amazing the way Gods mind works. This type of thinking is so counter cultural, yet it is not unrealistic. And if it is counted a blessed to need God in your life, how much sweeter is it when we want to have God in our life!
While in South Africa the Lord had me in a season of needing him, but here in the Philippines, I have a choice.
I chose to chose Jesus. I chose Jesus every second of every day. The reality is is that I need Jesus every single day, even though I don’t realize it. And Jesus loves us so much as to show up when we need him, even if we dont turn our head to listen. That’s just his unending grace. But when I chose to want Jesus, his blessings and presence in my life are sweeter. They are more intimate and more clear.
The more I want of him, the more I realize I need him.
Jesus has continued to draw me nearer and nearer in complete gentleness and kindness and I wouldn’t chose anything over it!
Love you all
– Ashley
