In Bali, in front of nearly every shop or home was a small, square container made out of palm leaves. Inside of them was rice, flowers, and incense. Each was a sacrifice to the spirit world.
As I passed by them, I asked God, somewhat playfully, if I were to offer Him a sacrifice, what would He want? What kind of food did He like? Certainly He wasn’t going to actually eat it.
He answered me with the verse “I desire mercy, not sacrifice,” (Hosea 6:6).
When I shared this story with my teammate, Melissa, she joked, “God, can’t I just give you the rice?”
Right? How much easier it is to give God a portion of my nasi goreng than to be kind to the people around me.
So I asked God, what does mercy look like for me today? I expected Him to show me a specific action to take, but instead, He showed me the cross, the biggest symbol of His mercy towards me. My mercy for others is meant to be a direct response to His mercy for me.
“Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment,” (James 2:12-13).
When I read that, my eyes welled up with tears. Praise God that His mercy triumphs over His judgment. In spite of every bad thing I’ve done, His mercy triumphs over His judgment. All I have to do is be merciful as well.
If I am not merciful, I am like the servant in Jesus’ parable who was forgiven for a huge debt, but then beat and killed his own servant for being unable to pay a much smaller debt (Matthew 18: 21-35). Jesus said that servant would be punished. On the other hand, He also declared that the merciful will be shown mercy (Matthew 5:7).
So many times I have thought, “Okay, this is it. Jesus is definitely done loving me.” Yes, even while I have been here on the World Race. When I think I have become useless to Him, even when I think I have brought shame to His name, and He would surely not want anyone associating His name with mine anymore, His mercy is still there for me; All I have to do is come into the light, my deeds and heart exposed, and ask for it. The Lord is not fooled by our attempts to cover our sin up, hiding it deep down in the back of our mind, pretending it doesn’t exist. But a broken and contrite heart He will not despise (Psalm 51:17).
And so I told God, “If You still want me, I am still Yours.” And He told me, “Yes, I still want you; you are still mine.”
So don’t hide. Don’t say I am too far gone, I’ve done too much, God would never forgive me. God is merciful. He really does want a relationship with you, and sent His only son to die as a punishment for your sins. So ask for His forgiveness and give your life to Him. You do not have to live under condemnation anymore. Jesus died and rose again so that you could live in the freedom of His mercy and spend eternity with Him. My life and my heart has been transformed by this truth. I hope it will transform yours too.
“A thousand times I’ve failed,
Still your mercy remains.
And if I stumble again,
Still I’m caught in your grace.”
-From the Inside Out by Hillsong
