I’m at launch now! 30 minutes to write a blog starting now!
I am going to be the coordinator for Beauty for Ashes, the womens ministry connected with World Race. Beauty for Ashes hosts retreats for women where they can share their story and experience healing.
Here is a part of my story.
At Training Camp in October and at Launch a few days ago, we did an activity called “How do you view God?” Adventures in Missions is big on something called “Listening Prayer.” If you are unfamiliar, it is simply asking God questions, listening, and expecting Him to reply. Sometimes He may say something, sometimes He may not. I’m still growing in this and want to be super careful about saying things like, “God said this,” but I’m going to share from the impressions that I got.
When I did this at training camp and now, I got two different impressions. At training camp, I found that I viewed God as a “marshmallow man.” Kind, sweet, lovely, but ultimately pliable, someone I could shape myself, someone who was not going to punish me for my sin. At launch, it was the polar opposite. God was a harsh judge and I was awaiting judgement.
Part of Beauty for Ashes ministry is drawing. I drew my picture, continuing to listen as I went along.
I asked God, “Am I really not condemned?”
As Christians we believe in forgiveness, but sometimes it can be hard to accept it in your heart, especially when you know your own sin intimately. God is just. Yes, God forgives, but I can’t just do whatever I want and continue to abuse His grace. Where is the balance?
God showed me, yes, I am guilty. But Jesus is the one who went to jail. I drew a picture of Jesus behind bars. But, God reminded me, He is not there anymore. I drew an empty jail cell.
“Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, he is risen!”
Jesus is not in jail. He is risen! Jesus is not dead, He is alive! He took the punishment for my sin.
What then, about me? I drew an empty judge’s seat. I draw an empty courtroom. And myself still there, alone, waiting to be condemned.
The trial is over. I am free to walk away.
I asked God how I should view Him instead, and pictured Him on the throne, in heaven. He is loving, He is good. Will there come a day when sins are punished? Yes. Do I have free reign to sin however I choose? No. God is still a perfect judge and king. But because of what Jesus has done for me, I am free. On the day of judgement, in spite of what I have done, I will receive life instead of death. I am loved and not condemned.
That is a hard thing to accept. The Gospel is a hard thing to understand. If I’m being really honest, there are still aspects of it I don’t understand, and here I am… In less than 24 hours I am going to be taking this very message to 11 different countries. But this is the message that offers freedom and hope, salvation and life.
Don’t sit in your own condemnation. Jesus came to offer forgiveness, in spite of anything you’ve done.
He is not a “marshmallow man” or a harsh judge, but He is perfect love and perfect justice all in one. He is our God.
