LISTEN TO THE VOICELESS 

  

“Come, tell me your trouble, I’m not your answer but I’m a listener ear. 

Reality has left you reeling.

All facts and no feelings. 

No faith and no fear.

 

But you who mourn will be comforted.

You who hunger will hunger no more.

You who weep now will laugh again and all you lonely, be lonely no more.

All the last shall be first, of this I am sure” 

 

Flags by Brooke Fraser

 

Cabin restaurants ( Restaurant where you can buy something to eat but pay little bit more and get some “special services (sexual services)”

Dear God… I know you’re always here but the comfort of you near is what I long for…Even when I don’t understand,  when I can’t feel you,  when I can’t hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray…

 After more than 1 hour in a bus full of people (and sometimes even goats), here I am, trying to hold back tears in a little room. This little room is her house. Four walls, a little dirty bucket to wash dishes, and an old TV; that who knows if it is working or not! There are burned outlets on the wall. The door is a curtain. Where is the bathroom? And the shower? Probably a hole outside and cold bucket showers. Honestly, my descriptions don’t do it justice or compare with the reality they’re living in. While we try to find the right words and questions to ask her. Her baby, Ruben, starts crying because of the pain he feels in his back. He’s just 1 year old and broke his back some weeks ago.

They offered us tea, should we say yes? We don’t want to eat or drink the only food they have. A lot of thoughts in my mind. How can I say God will provide when even so many times I doubt that even when I’m living with better conditions? God where are you in this place? God I don’t know why the good man will fall while the wicked man stand.?

As a prophetic act I’m gonna call her RUTH because now she is in this season and hard situation but I believe she’s going to trust and follow Jesus’ promises.

That being said… Oh gosh!! There’s in her eyes what I don’t see with my own. Things that she never quite said but I hear. Ruth you matter to me, I promise you do!

Then while I paint her nails with a shining yellow color, she starts talking… She was a housewife but her husband one day started feeling pain in one foot and somehow got paralyzed and for the last 6 months he has been in a bed. Now he is getting better but he is so weak because of it and his legs are thinner than before. He can barely walk! That’s why he cannot work as before and the reason why Ruth had to find a job to sustain her family. Sadly the only option she thought she has was in a cabin restaurant.

Didn’t want to hear but sadly the most heart-breaking part came when she told us her husband knew she was working in this place. Holy Jesus! I don’t get it! First thing that came to my mind was —> how can you feel knowing your wife, your loved one, is selling her body to be able to pay the bills? How can you agree with that in the first place? But at the same time I kept telling myself “you cannot judge them”… I mean what can he do, I don’t know the circumstances and probably the “only option” they had was that. A lot of questions keep whispering in my mind, and my heart is so broken seeing all the darkness, sadness, desperation, hopelessness, brokenness, etc. And even at the end when we bought some food for her, my thoughts were still -“God I don’t get it! Am I giving them temporary happiness and hope? Because I leave this country in 5 days, so this is probably the last time I’ll see her and then what? I just forget about them? They’ll still be broken. God please help me to understand your heart and your plans because I can’t on my own.”

That night we had team time and I told my teammates how I felt. Some of them gave me a lot of encouraging words but the brokenness and questions were still there. I wanted to cry and just pour my heart out to the Lord but at the same time I was kinda angry to talk to him. How can this happen? Why do you let these things happen? Help them!… I felt so overwhelmed and the fact that the next day I had to do the same thing with one of the other girls was so hard. It was killing me ! So then after some days trying to hide my feelings and tears. After having a hard time avoiding God, I was done! I was ready to stop fighting and give it to God. And God gave me a word in Isaiah 61 :

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations. Strangers will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.”

God sent us to bring life, to give hope, to have a glimpse of his heart on earth. He sent us to know how He feels when we reject him, when we don’t trust him, when he sees the darkness in this world. Definitely we won’t understand why these kind of things happen but we cannot blame God, people make their own choices and they exclude God. We have free will, that means we can choose our own paths and even when sometimes we don’t choose wisely God is always there holding us and there won’t be a place where we go and he is not there. I know I cannot save the world! But I can do something about it to make it better. So many times we live our lives just for us and we forget we can do more for people outside. There are broken people, people who just need a hug, a kind word and some ears to listen. Sometimes it will be hard but we are planting that seed in them and after that God will continue working on them and with them. For some people it would be the first time they receive a hug or encouragement, so it is worthy to do. But we have to be still so we might experience God!

Ruth is a potential girl to rescue and we have 4 more. That’s my hope! And I will hold onto it. The fact that at least we can take her out of that broken world and give her back her value, a new life, new name, new identity in Christ is priceless. We are praying about it and one of the staff members found a job for them. God is moving even when we feel he is not. We just have to wait and see. And learn to LISTEN TO THE VOICELESS.

 

This is a picture of Ruth’s husband and son trying to find monkeys outside 🙂