This Is Me.

My name is Amber. Some people call me Am, Ambie, Nicole (my middle name), Nicolie, Ambrose, or Broski. 

I am 23.

I am a PROUD Texan.

I am an Aggie (Whoop!).

I am the oldest daughter of two loving parents who have been together for 29 years. 

I have 1 younger sister who is 18 months younger than me.

I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was very young. Probably 4 or 5. I then proceeded to live a lukewarm Christian lifestyle until my last semester in college. 

I have been living for Christ since Fall 2016, so almost 2 years. 

 

 

I am really hard on myself.

I am not the best at extending grace to myself or others. 

I am a bit of a pessimist. 

I am sarcastic. 

I am more emotional than I allow myself to be. 

I have battled anxiety, fear, depression, self harm, suicidal thoughts, and a lot of shame.

I was anorexic and bulimic for most of my high school life. 

I mess up a lot. Like A LOT, A LOT. 

I still have bondage that I am trying to break free from. 

I feel unqualified 100% of the time.

 

 

I just grasped that Jesus loves me 3 months ago. Before I just couldn’t see it. I knew it to be true in my head, but I couldn’t accept it as a reality in my heart. 

I shared the Gospel with someone for the first time this month and it terrified me.

I witnessed God heal someone then immediately began to doubt it.

 

 

This is meant to be a confession. I have been praying to walk in freedom this month, like true, heart reckless-and-abandoned-freedom. But I felt like I couldn’t because there are so many skeletons in my closet. Skeletons reminding me of my inadequacy for literally everything I am doing this year and then for the rest of my life.

So think of this like a fresh start. I am ready to shake of the old and really run into the new. 

This month I was really struggling. One of my teammates told me to make of list of 100 things I like about myself. I told her I couldn’t even think of one. I realized how bound I was and because I am a fighter, I found 100 things. I don’t want to share them all, because most of them are for me on those days where I feel like shit (oops, but its true). 

But I want to share 10 of them with you. This is the new me. This is the me I am walking into. Confidence. Fearlessness. Boldness. Integrity. This is the new that Jesus died for me to have. Some may be funny, some may be serious. But these are all things I didn’t believe about myself 1 week ago. 

1. I am so in love with the Lord

2. I am kind

3. I am funny

4. I am strong

5. I am bold

6. I have a lot of faith and trust in the Lord

7. I have cute dimples

8. My voice carries a lot of power

9. I am creative

10. I am beautiful

 

Anyways that is me. The real me, and I like her.

 

Love, 

amber

 

A video to come soon! So stay tuned 😀