I had a vision.
It started with Jesus on the cross – bloody, barely breathing, being crucified for a sentence he did not deserve. My sight panned to the right of him, and I saw a wooden cross with the skin of a woman on it.
No intestines, no heart, no brain, no bones, nothing. Just the shell, the outside of something that was once alive.
I realized that the skin was mine; that empty shell was me. Hanging on the cross to the right of Jesus was my old self; who I once claimed to be.
My sight panned back to Jesus, and then I saw myself. The alive version of Alyssa was on her knees, weeping before the cross.
This vision reminded me of a verse in Galatians that says, “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” (2:20).
I have been crucified with Christ. The shell of my old self is hanging on the cross, covered by the blood of Jesus. The life I now live is new, in Christ.
The same day the Lord gave me this vision I also randomly read about the death and resurrection of Lazarus. It blew. my. mind.
This is what the passage says: “When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘Lazarus, come out!’ The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around his face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let him go.’” (John 11:43-44).
The more I thought about this, the more the Lord made things connect in my head — I think the vision and this scripture go hand-in-hand.
Jesus addresses Lazarus by his name, his true self. [When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, “LAZARUS, come out!” v. 43]. But, then the narrator (John) switches the way that Lazarus is addressed. [“The DEAD MAN came out…” v. 44a].
Jesus calls Lazarus by his true name, but John addresses him as “the dead man.”
This is so strange. Jesus commanded a dead Lazarus to life, and he walked out of a tomb. Yet John still chooses to address him as a “dead man??” Why would he do that?
He’s obviously not dead. Scripture says that Lazarus physically walks out of a tomb and stands in front of Jesus (clothed in linen and cloth, but still). He had been dead for four days, and was now – all of the sudden – breathing in oxygen, walking, and having blood pump to and from his heart.
We, as human beings – and the world, which is filled with human beings – identify anything and everything by what we see. We label and stereotype in hope to grasp some sort of understanding and control.
A nurse wears scrubs.
A poor man wears a tattered shirt.
A football player wears a jersey.
And so on and so forth for every profession that exists.
But, what we so often fail to see is this: What we wear, like Lazarus, isn’t always an accurate description of who we truly are.
You see, Lazarus wasn’t dead anymore. Jesus said, “Lazarus, come out!” And he came out. He was alive.
The linen that covered his body, and the cloth that covered his face, absolutely does not change the truth that his heart started beating again. It doesn’t matter what he was covered in. Mere clothing does not have the power to change the truth that Lazarus was once dead, but was now alive and breathing.
The shell of my skin that was hanging on a cross next to Jesus is not just me, but all of us. Replace my skin with yours. Jesus died for you to walk in freedom from your old self.
My old self is labeled by striving, perfection, and people pleasing. I was enslaved to this world, but I have been made alive in Christ. My striving, perfection, and people pleasing is not who I am, despite the fact that people might still label me as a “dead woman.”
Honestly, sometimes I still label myself that way. Satan still labels me that way. The world still labels me that way.
But, no matter how I choose to see myself – no matter how YOU choose to see yourself – and no matter how the world chooses to identify me, I am ALIVE in Christ. I have been crucified with him.
And if I tried to take down my old, crucified skin and put it back on, It wouldn’t fit. I wouldn’t be able to fit the lies over my true self.
Because death is not an option for me anymore. Striving is not an option for me anymore. Perfection is not an option for me anymore. Flattery is not an option for me anymore. Sure, I might be able to walk around with that old skin halfway on like a pair of really tight jeans, but it would be extremely uncomfortable and honestly… just super weird.
Imagine watching someone walk around with jeans around their ankles. It makes me uncomfortable. It sounds really stupid, inconvenient, and unrealistic. Who would willingly choose to walk around in that when they could just take them off and walk freely?
Now imagine how uncomfortable Jesus feels when we try to revert back to lies and old ways of life that we’ve been freed from.
“When he had said this, Jesus called in a loud voice, ‘ALYSSA, come out!’ The dead woman came out, her hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and a cloth around her face. Jesus said to them, ‘Take off the grave clothes and let her go.’” (John 11:43-44, my perspective).
I’m free. I want to actually start walking in belief of that truth.
“You’re free, Lyss. Nobody can change that now – no matter what clothes you decide to put on.” -Jesus.
What clothes will you decide to wear?
-Lyss
