Over a hundred people were gathered on a basketball court that had areas of puddles. There were cardboard boxes on the ground for some of the families to sleep on.
As we carried the 20 or so boxes of blankets from the truck to the court, women patiently waited in line to receive the blankets for their families. We handed out at least 50 blankets, and they were all very grateful. While I know we helped out these families, I left feeling a little helpless. I can’t imagine having to do this once let alone the amount of times I’m sure they’ve been in this same situation year after year.
When we got back from the distribution of blankets, I received notice that there was a mom in labor! I had been up next on the list to help out and experience this once in a lifetime chance of delivering a baby, so I quickly got ready and headed up the street to the pregnancy clinic with three others.
I was filled with excitement and anticipation. The mom went from 3cm to 6cm very quickly, and I imagined it wouldn’t be long until she would be fully dilated, ready to pop out her baby.
As the clock continued to tick with no changes, Rona, the midwife, encouraged us to rest as she was also doing. I thought nope, no way, if I fell asleep, I would be more tired when I would be woken up to help. I decided to muster through the sleepiness while everyone else slept on the floor. I also wanted to keep the mom company and give her comfort knowing someone was awake and alert if she needed anyone.
Because I was alone, I spent the next couple hours with God in the Word and processing the last 11 months. It was my plan for the following day, so I decided it would be a good idea to do now because I would most likely be catching up on sleep tomorrow instead.
Those quiet hours with the Lord were so needed. Prior to this I had been battling lies about me and the Lord. There’s something special and precious spending time with God in the middle of the night. As I reflected on what I learned from each month of the Race, He revealed to me that the enemy tries to convince me that God isn’t always good. Satan wants me to believe that God intentionally allows some hurt, pain and failure into our lives in order for us to grow and build character. Because my flesh wants to avoid any pain or suffering, if or when I believe this lie about God, I cannot fully trust the Lord in every situation, and I question His goodness.
At 5am, Rona checked the mom again. She was still at 6cm and contractions had stopped. With that said, she advised us to go back to our ministry site and get some rest.
I agreed and went back to sleep in a warm, comfortable bed.
Surprisingly I woke up in time for breakfast at 7am. Norm, our ministry host, informed us that many more families were being displaced and that they would be going on several feedings each day. Right then, I believed our extra hands around here was another reason God wanted some of us to stick around in Cainta.
Because I was waiting for word about our mom who was in labor, I decided to hang back from the feedings. I along with a couple others were able to help out at the clinic that afternoon, but despite there being a couple more moms in labor, there were no deliveries.
Later that day, I decided to watch a movie since I was still a little tired from the night before. As I was looking at my options, I remembered there was a movie I had been wanting to watch. When I skimmed the list and landed on the title of that movie I thought, “Oh yeah! This movie!” That movie was “The Shack”.
Above, I briefly mentioned that I was battling lies about me and the Lord and when I had previously looked at movies, I thought about how I should watch “The Shack” knowing that the first time I saw it in theaters, it was really impactful for me.
But if any of you have seen “The Shack”, you are well aware that it’s a very heavy movie. I knew that it wouldn’t be easy to watch, but at the same time I knew I needed to. The main character of the movie and I had something in common. We were questioning God’s goodness.
Once Mack meets the trinity and spends time with each one, I couldn’t help but relate to his interactions with them individually. Similar to Mack, I easily trust and love Jesus, I am still trying to figure out the Holy Spirit, and when it comes to God, I question him and sometimes put the blame on him for the evil thats in the world.
I held back tears as I put myself in his shoes feeling his pain, sharing in his understanding, doubts, and questions. But as the story continues, like Mack, I am overwhelmed by the love, awe and wonder of the trinity.
Through watching this movie, I was reminded of who God is and who the real enemy is. However, it wasn’t until the following morning, as I processed the movie, the last couple of days and the Race, and started writing a blog about the biggest thing I learned over the last 11 months, that it truly sank in.
As I wrote my blog, it almost forced me to go back through novels I had read on the Race and relisten to a podcast relevant to what I had been battling with and was writing about. It was during this time that this barrier or wedge I had between God and I was completely dismantled!
After nearly finishing this blog and my lunch, I was told there was a mom in labor and that I should go to the clinic ASAP! WOO FINALLY! I quickly headed over there with one other teammate. When I arrived, I was told by the midwife, Rona, that she would deliver in an hour.
A couple of my other squadmates were there, but they were planning on heading back for lunch in a few minutes. Before they left, we played some music and encouraged the mom to dance, move around a bit and do some squats to get the ball rolling sooner. She was pretty shy and wasn’t really going along with us. Instead she was crossing her legs and almost tried to hold it back. I thought ok, this is probably going to take a little while.
Not long after my squadmates left, Rona re-checked the mom. As she did, she started going into action telling me and Shea to put gloves on and handed us each something she wanted us to open. I had no idea what was going on. Everything was happening so fast and before you know it my hands are in position to “catch” this baby that was coming out fast.
Anyway, it was a crazy, amazing, whirlwind experience. This once in a million chance of seeing what I saw was just another reminder to me of God’s goodness and his favor on me. HE IS GOOD!
An hour later, I was in a van with four of my teammates on the way to several feedings for thousands of families who had been displaced. We started out at a couple smaller places and I wondered how we were going to “get rid of” all the food we had. Well, our third and final stop, we ended up at a large school. At least a thousand + people were currently living on the grounds. There were several other organizations there passing out clothes, towels, food and medication, TV crews and policemen. It was controlled madness. We served food for the next couple of hours until all the food was gone. I was thankful I was able to witness this firsthand and partake in helping these families.
All that is to say, the last 48 hours were continuous confirmations that the Lord wanted me here in Cainta and not in Banaue. It has been by far one of the most impactful weeks on the Race and some of the best experiences I will never forget.
PS. For those of you who have asked about my ant bites, they are basically healed! Thank you so much for your prayers!
