After going through a difficult month in Nicaragua regarding my relationship with God and my teammates, I was ready and eager to leave for Panama.
Coming off of an all squad month, I was looking forward to a fresh start with just my team. We had been talking for a couple weeks getting hyped about all the Christmas activities we wanted to do, and I was excited for our evangelism ministry knowing it would be out of my comfort zone and an opportunity for growth. So, I had the hopes and expectations that Panama would be as merry and bright as Christmas.
Turns out, this Christmastime in Panama City was anything but merry and bright and far from being the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”. Instead, it was one of the most exhausting, stressful and frustrating couple of weeks.
It began with one of my teammates being admitted into the hospital. While she was there, my mind, my heart and my time were being pulled in two very different directions: my teammate in the hospital and my team’s ministry. As the team leader, I was able to visit and help out at the hospital, so I made several trips back and forth. But at the same time, I was responsible for leading my team’s ministry, helping prepare and participate in children’s programs, an important Christmas event, prayer meetings, house visits and Sunday Fellowship nights with my teammates.
During this time, being a couple team members down, worrying about our teammate’s health, and having constant changes to our ministry responsibilities, put a lot of stress, pressure and extra work on us.
Everyday our team battled for unity. To say it was a struggle is an understatement.
I had to continuously remind myself that this team is the team God handpicked for me to be in community with on the World Race. That this is the team I prayed for; a team that would challenge me and push me towards becoming more like Christ.
There’s a quote that says, “God prepares leaders in a slow cooker, not in a microwave oven”. While I might not have been put in a microwave oven, I sure feel like I have been living in a Pressure Cooker. Water was boiling up inside me, the trapped steam was increasing and my temperature was rising.
It’s been tempting to hit the release valve and relieve the pressure, but I know God is using the pressures of community and ministry to transform me and draw me closer to Him. The Lord is cooking something good, and if I endure, I will touch, taste, see and smell the sweet victory. I will taste and see that the Lord is good. (Psalm 34:8). I am confident that “He who began a good work in you (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:6)
