Since month eight of my race the Lord has really been teaching me about communion.
All I really knew about communion up until this point is every now and then at church we would get one of those .2 ounce cups of grape juice and one of those little crackers to remember Jesus died for us. I knew that it had to do with the last supper and that Jesus told us to “do this in remembrance of me” but I didn’t really know that much about the bible, the old testament especially. I didn’t really grow up knowing bible stories or theology or Sunday school songs – I’m sure people tried to teach me, but I had to wrestle that out with the Lord myself to have any interest in it. (Honestly, I’m so thankful for that now because I find a lot of wonder and excitement in the stories.)
I was reading in Exodus 24 during parent vision trip one morning about this covenant God was making with Israel. After all those crazy things that happen – plagues, freedom from being slaves in Egypt, crossing the Red Sea, the Ten Commandments, water coming out of a rock and manna from heaven – Moses makes some offerings to the Lord. (You know because we sin and we used to have to kill animals to be made right with God.) He reads this covenant God has made to the Israelites, and they say yes – we accept this we will be obedient to what you told us to do. Moses then throws the blood from the oxen onto the people.
Um wow????????
That’s a big deal. They’re saying I understand I deserve to die if I break this. This isn’t just a every now and then .2 ounce cup of grape juice. This is 24/7. This is striving to go against every part of my natural self. This is constant – you don’t get to choose out of it when you want or when it’s convenient. They’re saying I receive this and will carry my weight and my part of this covenant.
Then they eat and drink and spend time together.
So, it changed my heart posture of communion. I realized communion is all the time. It’s telling Jesus about my day and asking him what he wants to do in the morning. It’s giving thoughts and feelings and concerns to Jesus and letting Him work them out with me. It’s sharing the deep hard parts of me, so He can fill it with Light and Truth and Love. It’s putting down my pride and self-preservation because I know there’s freedom on the other side. It’s every day. It’s more than can fit in that .2 ounce cup. It’s alone with Jesus and it’s in community and it’s with the Church. It’s obedience when you don’t trust yourself and it’s giving up comfort for greater dependence.
It’s come up a few times since then, but last month I was reading a book called My Imaginary Jesus (thanks for the book rec Rob Johnston!!!!) and (hopefully this won’t spoil it if you plan on reading it) there is this picture at the end that really got me. The main character is looking at this table, and he’s talking to Jesus’s mom Mary and Peter the disciple. They’re sitting in a room lit by only a candle eating a meal together – meat, bread, and wine. They’re talking about memories with Jesus – hard ones they want to honor. At one point Peter steps away, takes a sip of wine, and returns. Vivid real life memories. They know his heart and they talk about it because they love Him so much they can’t help it. They laugh, cry, smile, share the heavy things on their heart like how Jesus impacted them with love and selflessness and truth and power.
Communion is whole. It can’t be contained. It’s always.
I want to challenge you to have communion with your community, your family, yourself maybe tomorrow or in the next couple weeks. Eat a meal and talk about Jesus and how He shows you love and grace and refines you and puts you in awe in a way you just can’t create with a whole congregation. Maybe talk about how thankful you are that we don’t have to kill animals to be reconciled with God anymore – thanks Jesus!!! Let it overwhelm tradition with creativity and grace.
Thanks for reading,
Alexis
