This goes to all the ones- pastors, small group leaders, and mamas of close friends- who spoke into my life over the past 6 or so years.
There are far too many of you to name, you people who gave of yourself pouring into me. You came when there was such an opportunity to make a lifelong impact. But teenagers are awkward and weird and think they know everything so first of all, kudos to you for sticking it out. Some of you came for a season, some of you for life.
Thank you. I mean it x10000.
I appreciated you before, but over the past month I have been blown away by the weight of all you did.
I’m currently living in Guatemala, serving at a middle school. Wild, right? Five hours each day spent with students aged 13-17. Our ministry, technically speaking, is teaching english and leading weekly devotionals. However, the unseen is the little moments spent building relationship, being Jesus to them. And what is unseen is eternal.
I’ve realized many things about your leadership within the walls of our school. One being that while yes you led a group of people, you made each one individually seen and known. That is a feat I admire- you made it look so effortless. You saw me within a group, whether of friends or fellow students, and saw where I was. You took the time. You put forth the effort. You didn’t do your work for our collective group and say, “that’s enough.” Never did I feel like a burden, because you sought me out. Through starbucks dates, kitchen table talks, or simply text messages throughout the week, I felt known by you.
While these students have been under my care, they’ve also become my friends. It’s truly a gift, and one that you possessed with grace. I think it comes with respect and vulnerability. Without respect, there would be no leadership. Without being vulnerable, friendship would not be found. You found the beautiful balance of both and I didn’t appreciate it enough.
I know now it was hard. It’s hard when they don’t care. It’s hard when they are lost and hurting. Sometimes it’s hard to really show up, because you are human too and have struggles and hurts as well. It’s hard to feel as if you cannot reach them, though you love so fiercely.
But you stuck with it. Thank you endlessly for sticking with it. Your own unseen is known and so valued. All the little moments I treated casually or thought nothing of- they are deeply appreciated. One day last week, we got the chance to go on a service trip with our oldest class. And on that day, I think I got a little glimpse of your heart. As I stood back and simply watched our students sharing their bold, passionate, crazy hearts to the people living within piles of trash, I cried. Proud and humbled and filled with joy. My kids spinning other kids around in their arms. Praying with a mother. Handing out food with a smile. Giving without restraint.
I hope that is how you felt watching me. I hope you were filled with thankfulness for the God who caused your life to intersect with mine. I hope you are able to look at all the wild teenagers you have taken and will take under your wing and feel both proud and humbled when they get it.
You loved me with the genuine love of Jesus. Thank you will never be enough. I hope it brought you the life it’s now bringing me.
All my love,
Abigail
