There are seasons of life which surpass written word. I am walking now in one of these seasons. For two days, my pen has hovered over blank pages. The only word that continues to come to mind is simply “full.”
At first I thought my mind was racing. But now I feel my mind is full. “Racing” alludes to rampant thoughts, processing one thing to the next at a high pace. My mind though is in a state of slow pondering. I dwell on the events of the past week- even the past several months, and I feel full, in a myriad of ways.
I am full of gratitude. This place holds such peace. The gentle murmur over the green beckons, “be still.” I don’t want to romanticize life here, but I truly feel at home. The Lord has drawn me in to a posture of praise and deep thankfulness. Last night, I fell asleep on the roof under the moon and stars. We were awakened by a gentle rain and after an hour of hushed darkness, Jesus met with me on the balcony surrounded by sunrise skies. He speaks my love language so well and gently.
I am full for this country. With Buddhism as the main religion, one can feel the spiritual pull, the battle for the hearts in this city. Many are lost, many are searching. My heart breathes prayers over the people here as I walk through the streets. All carry such beauty; the image of their Creator shines through their radiant smiles and dark eyes.
I am full of love for the community surrounding me. Through meals, walks to the market, coffee breaks, and laughing with children on the street together, the Lord has been building a community of His people who dare to be real with each other. Vulnerability is beautiful. Celebration and laughter renews.
This fullness is what I want to remember. When the days here in Battambang, Cambodia feel a bit too long and hot or when ministry isn’t going the way I feel it should, I pray for a heart of remembrance of the Lord’s faithfulness and goodness to me. He has brought deliverance and led me here, now, in this moment and for this moment. He is good.
This isn’t much of an update as my heart is still in a state of reflection, but I am expectant. My feet are planted. And my heart is full.
