Dear Abby,
The hardest thing about you being on the race is the sense of letting go, missing daily interactions, not being a part of what’s next for you. You are having such separate experiences that we are not a part of, and the thought that these may not bring you closer but draw you further away from us is hard.
It was difficult to come to India in different ways. I had never considered going there; this was your trip, not ours. Initially it was tough getting my mind around the cost, and the amount of travel involved made it seem out of reach. I am such a homebody. Physically I didn’t think I could handle it, but God gently led me to realize that if He was for it, I could go. He would be faithful in taking care of me. The prep was tough: getting ready, packing restrictions, shots, Visa, passport. All new things for me. I had a little medical situation right before leaving, then in India I had to take Cipro almost right away. I prayed God’s circle of protection from further physical attacks, as that’s what I believed they were. He did prove to be faithful during the rest of the trip.
My favorite part of the trip was spending time with you; that is my love language and it was just wonderful. I was struck by the beautiful location with the mountains surrounding us. The pace of life there seems more natural and mellow. I appreciated being in 80 degree weather and not in the 100s as we originally thought. That had been an item of prayer prior to the trip; that God would change the weather, but instead He changed the location! Again, He was taking care of me. India was fascinating, and each city was different.
I was excited to go on a missions trip. I have never done that and while it was humbling that I don’t feel I did that much, it was really hard to do the work, just being in a different culture with the language differences and being in new situations. I was exhausted, and yet I felt I did so little. I am humbled by the time and effort all you racers have expended, with your good attitudes and pleasant interactions shown in this work. I missed the family at home, but was getting updates on the snow storms- which I did not miss!
Abby, in my time in India I saw your beauty and humor have remained, and I am so grateful for the growth in your relationship with God and openness to His leading in your life. I was happily surprised by the gentle interaction we were able to have when discussing an issue. I realized how much you’ve grown. It was a wonderful experience. I appreciate the model the racers have to lovingly give feedback, not hurting each other, but providing so much opportunity for personal growth and also developing strong trusting relationships. I saw you put that in action, thank you. That will be invaluable in every future part of your life. I loved seeing you use your gifts in music, leading worship, singing and playing your guitar. Doing that in the setting of the big group, parents and all was touching to me.
Before the trip I was feeling a bit listless in my walk. I feel I need to keep learning more about Him, His love, His word. I have been reminded how much and in what details He cares for me. I have also learned I am happy to support long distance missions but in the future I will stay close to home. No more squatty potties in my future, I am too old for that!
My personal goal, which I have been thinking of for a while, is that I don’t want to live to consume. We see it so much here, I want to mindfully share what He has given and the trip helped solidify that.
In being with you, my time in India helped me understand just how drastically different you are living there from our norm here. What a change it will be to come home! The great community you have will transition to something else here. Your care for each other will remain but the proximity will not for many. You will have individual autonomy and decisions to make. I don’t know how that will look and how you will handle it, but I know it’s coming. I think you have great experiences to draw from to keep you strong, to remember God’s provisions. Your growth and willingness to come under His leadership is encouraging and heartwarming. It was such a gift to be with you in India as a part of the racers community. To see what it looks like to share, even slightly, in the work.
Love you,
Mom
