“To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck that which is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away,” Ecclesiastes 3:1-6.
Chile has awakened me sort of speak, or has at least awakened something inside of me. While my first few weeks in Chile were grand, my final two weeks have left me questioning nearly everything I’ve learned thus far.
I don’t think it’s any surprise that religion tends to rub certain individuals the wrong way. I mean, I’ve certainly had my qualms about it and have had my fair share of spats with the Lord. But regardless of your views or belief system, it’s important to understand that not everyone thinks the same way as you.
We live in a world where materialism and greed set the pace of life. We put things before people and fail to recognize the malevolence behind our twisted ways. And while we have sunken so deep into this depth of vanity, it now seems almost impossible to resurface from such a depth. However, with a simple change of mind, we can prevent ourselves from submitting to the lowly depths of vanity in the future.
As I mentioned above, Chile has left me questioning many aspects of Christianity. Maybe it’s partly due to the fact that I’ve struggled this month to connect with individuals, or maybe it’s due to the fact that my thoughts are so scattered lately.
The other day I started reading Ecclesiastes after not having genuinely read the Bible in over a month. Lately, I’ve been picking around at different books, but it’s been difficult for me to concentrate on one specific part of scripture—I tend to lose focus rather easily. I’ve been feeling under the weather lately, spiritually and physically, so one of my teammates, Jaclyn, recommended I take a look at Ecclesiastes. Jaclyn and I have very similar personalities, especially when it comes to our spirituality, so I figured, why not? For any of you who haven’t read Ecclesiastes or any scripture for that matter, you should know that Ecclesiastes isn’t exactly the most “feel-good” read of the Bible—right up my alley I suppose! But, anyway, as I began reading, I almost immediately picked up on the “doom and gloom” theme. And as much as I’ve been struggling lately, Ecclesiastes was just what I needed to brighten my spirits…despite all that blatant negativity. I guess when you think about it, Ecclesiastes is sort of a sneaky book, as it tends to put a bad taste in the mouths of some of the more happy-go-lucky readers. But I’ve found that it’s chock-full of practicality. Plus, reading through Ecclesiastes was sort of like a theoretical slap in the face—it woke me up to say the least.
When my brother died 11 years ago, I absolutely hated God and religion. Time after time people would try to offer me comfort by preaching religion to me day in and day out. In a sense, this made me resent God even more; I certainly didn’t appreciate the Jesus spiel at 10 years old. And while I’ve since received both closure and healing from my brother’s death, I still always wonder why certain people are chosen to die over others. And I realize that this comes across as a bit selfish and a bit harsh, but it’s difficult to hear people talk about experiences they’ve had where after talking to God in a time of crisis, voilà!, their loved one narrowly escaped death (like what?). And even though I occasionally still find myself holding a grudge against God, reading through Ecclesiastes helped bring clarity to this dilemma of mine, especially in chapter three where it addresses everything having a time and a season. Yes, death is inevitable, we’re all going to be forgotten and be considered irrelevant traces of the universe whether we like it or not, but life is about coming to terms with these realities (as cruel as they sound) and coming to terms with the fact that no matter how hard you search for the meaning of life, you’ll never find it. You can search for happiness and meaning all you want, but the insanity of the matter is that you’ll almost always be left empty-handed (this is me being optimistic!). Experiences aren’t necessarily for creating, they’re for undergoing. You’re the curator of your life’s museum, and once you begin to realize the worth of your art is when you’ll finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel (maybe).
As humans, we expend an enormous amount of energy searching for some sort of meaning to apply to life. What a gigantic waste of energy! If you’ve been searching your whole life for meaning and happiness and are still coming up short, then I suggest you stop, and redirect your search to yourself. Yes, it seems silly to have to point this out, but do you really think how Joe Schmo lives his life and what makes him happy is going to make you equally as happy? No, probably not. I mean, for all we know Joe’s source of happiness could be jumping off cliffs for the fun of it. That may or may not be appealing to you, but it’s important to stop comparing ourselves to others and realize that we are the source of our own happiness. It’s as clear as day, that humans are wired with this desire to feel accepted and loved—it’s just human nature. But the truth of the matter is that, striving for a certain level of acceptance and affection often makes us go mad. Thus, we tend to lose ourselves in this madness of trying to be like everyone else until what’s left are nothing but mere replications of an individual that once was. Now who wants that? I guess I’m just always perplexed by humanity’s rejection of individualism. Anyway, long story short, happiness and meaning are both attainable, but only if we start seeking them out from within.
Another key concept that Ecclesiastes brought to mind is the legitimacy of time. As much as I love to sport a good attitude and a smiling face, there’s a large part of me that gravitates towards the darker aspects of life. It’s exhausting putting on a happy face all the time, especially with all the tragedy that takes place in the world. But one thing I’m beginning to come to terms with is the notion of time. What is time? Time may very well be a human construct for all we know, but it seems as though time is the ultimate dictator of life’s unraveling of events. With that being said, time is a nuisance. It can slowly eat away at you and push your every button, while simultaneously offering healing, growth, and nourishment. And while time takes on many forms, it’s important to realize that, the more you allow time to constrain you and allow it to place a firm grasp on your life, the more you’ll start to become consumed by it. Time hasn’t always been on my side and has often triggered a frustration within me almost unbearable to handle at times, but it’s in this frustration that I’m realizing how essential time is to my development as a human being. Time has shown me the significance behind the unraveling of certain events in my life and how these unraveling of events are somehow eerily linked to the concept of an ultimate plan. Certain events in time, had they not occurred, would’ve certainly changed the trajectory of my life, but I am where I am because time has allowed for me to grow and transition in this way.
Not everyone experiences tragedy and heartache in the same way, and, yes, some people experience the magnitude of these traumas more so than others, but what I’m essentially getting at here is that, everyone has their season. Whether it be a season of grief, growth, prosperity, or love, there’s a season for everything. I can’t say I’m going to be the most religious person to ever live, being that I’m struggling with religion as it is, but I can say that working at it is something that time is allowing for. And just like with anything new, I will simply start the process by getting my feet wet until I reach the point where I can dive in head first.
