When I applied to the World Race, I thought I might be too broken for them to accept me. Maybe I had too many things I had been through to be eligible. Maybe my past was just too much to look past. Maybe my sins were too big. These thoughts, unfortunately, are not uncommon. We keep pieces of our story to ourselves for fear of judgement or rejection or condemnation from our friends, peers, and God.
You are never too lost for God to find you, and you are never too broken for God to use you. There is no condemnation in Christ. Let me say it again. There is NO condemnation in Christ. (romans 8:1)
But what happens when you’re so afraid to share the messy parts of your past that people miss an opportunity to see God’s power and love?
Exactly five years ago, I was sitting in a hospital with crippling anxiety and depression, telling a nurse I didn’t want to live anymore. Today, in just a few minutes, I’m boarding a plane with 47 teammates to go tell the world about Jesus.
Isaiah 66:9 reads, ‘I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born,” says the Lord.’
Y’all, that’s redemption. He took the darkest day of my life, and five years later, to the day—I love God’s attention to detail— turned it into joy and light as we head into the world to seek Kingdom and share his love. Were those 5 years a walk in the park? Not even close. But they were full of growth where God met me exactly where I was to remind me I am so loved, and he has a job for me to do? Absolutely!
I’m so thankful for my past because I can look back and clearly see God in every. single. piece. Even when I felt alone or unworthy, he was in the pain and the weeping. He was desperately seeking me out to take away the guilt and shame and sin and showing me how to live in freedom. I wouldn’t have experienced God’s unfailing love and grace the same way had I not walked through that place of complete hopelessness. And now, in full confidence, I have the opportunity to share that love and hope all over the world.
Yall, my past is full of pain. It is something I wanted desperately to forget, but it paints such a beautiful picture of God’s redemption and THAT is worth sharing! So today, I’m choosing to quit hiding behind a socially acceptable story.
How different would our world look if we were willing to be vulnerable? To invite others into our darkest places and walk out of them together?
And what if your darkness could lead someone straight into the arms of our Father?
