If you’re wondering what it feels like to be leaving your entire life behind for a backpack, 50 strangers-turned-family, and a whole lot of Jesus, let me just say:
I have no idea what I’m doing.
One leg is in home life, one leg is in race life, and I’m being stretched until I can’t stand up. Now, I feel like that should’ve been anticipated, but it wasn’t so… my bad. Now here I am. Constantly working to stay present with the people I’m about to leave while trying to continue building relationships with the people I’m about to take on the nations with.
Risk training, visas, vaccines, thank you notes, fundraising, POAs, living wills… the list could go on and on. All of these things need my attention. Decisions well outside my range of knowledge, like which lice shampoo and malaria meds to take, are constantly on my mind. Cramming my life into a 60L pack is the only workout I’m getting. And attempting to cover all of Nashville’s best Mexican before I go takes up most of my free time. Priorities, yall.
It’s like somebody put allll the emotions in a blender and they come out, indistinguishably, as tears. And usually at inopportune times, like on the birthday aisle, picking out a year’s worth of cards to leave behind.
You get a lot of looks when you cry on the happiest aisle of the store.
But please trust me when I say I’m not sad, regretful, or complaining. Mourning home life and anticipating race life is to be expected. And working through that while being more excited and busier than you’ve ever been about anything just gets weird. No amount of insecurity or sacrifice or chaos or emotion can take away the peace and comfort found in walking with the Lord.
Andddd it doesn’t hurt that it’s the adventure of a life time.
Seriously how good is God?! I thought I had my picture perfect career and apartment and life and He turned it upside down for something so. much. cooler. What an honor to be loved and chosen by the creator of the universe!
I don’t know how much you appreciate the universe, but I’m a big fan of outer space. And sunsets and puppies and Australian accents. I am just in awe that the creator of all those things wants to know me and you on an intimate, personal level. Y’all he hurts and grieves and laughs and rejoices with us, but we still have a hard time letting him slip too far into our comfy American lives. So often we confine him to a time slot on a calendar, and I’m just not about that life!
There are women and children being trafficked – many by their own families. There are babies being abandoned for looking different or being born female. There are groups of people being exiled and left to die alone for having misunderstood illnesses or unpopular lifestyles. And they all deserve to know they are loved.
So now I get to leave my sweet American life behind for to learn to live and love like Jesus. To walk intentionally towards life as a disciple and grow deeper in relationship with God. To put complete strangers, unfamiliar cultures and customs, the broken, the hurting and the lost over myself. Over my comfort, needs, safety and beloved stuff. And I couldn’t be more excited!
PS. WE ARE LESS THAN A WEEK FROM LAUNCH. If you happen to see me before then and I’m sporting alllll the emotions, just disregard. They’re only temporary because I’M GOING ON THE WORLD RACE, Y’ALL!
I’d love to stay in touch while on the field! The best email address to get in contact will be [email protected]. If you haven’t gotten on the update list yet and want to get more personal updates, please send me your email address!
Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the support. You can still help out financially by making a *tax-deductable* donation above. Please join me in praying for our squad and the lovely people of our first stop, INDIA!
