The very best thing about God is how he loves us. One of my favorite things about him, though, is how he chooses to communicate it. How patiently and persistently he pursues us. How he delights in going above and beyond to remind us he’s got everything under control. And how, sometimes, the most vital messages come in the most creative and unexpected ways.
A few months back, a pastor at my church was talking about how we should love like Jesus. He went on to ask how Jesus loved. His answer: He died. Whoa. There’s no miscommunication in laying down your life. That’s love.
To be completely honest, lately I’ve been feeling less than. Which brings me to tonight. Good Friday. The day we recognize as the day God showed us just how much he loved us. We’re called to show others that same love.
I’ve been under a lot of stress the last few weeks, and I’d started to let it affect how I was interacting with the people around me. How can you radiate love with bitterness in your heart? Plain and simple: you don’t. I’m painfully aware that I’m falling short on the most important task of a Christ follower. And it’s a pretty awful feeling when you’re headed to a year of missions. I want to love recklessly, even when it’s not easy.
If I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:2
I’ve been wondering how I could possibly be enough, having desperate moments with God asking him to just completely wreck my heart so I can love like Christ in all circumstances. And y’all, he spoke to me through an episode of How I Met Your Mother. I bet you wouldn’t expect to hear from God via Netflix, because I certainly didn’t (seriously, he continues to blow me away). Or maybe you’re thinking that has to be a coincidence. But with God there are no coincidences. Hearing 1 Corinthians 13 for the thousandth time, as Ted and friends were declaring it a wedding cliche, it stirred something inside of me.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
It was the perfect reminder at the perfect time. If love was so easy, we wouldn’t need it written in the scripture, and we certainly wouldn’t need a savior.
So on days when I don’t feel like enough, I can rest in the fact that I’m not. None of us are. And that’s the beauty of the cross. Because we are broken, Jesus willingly suffered a humiliating and painful death so that we can be enough. God is begging us to walk with him, covered in his grace. If we will simply lean into him, the Holy Spirit will guide us. He will show us exactly how to love when it seems impossible, and he will always step in to remind us we are so loved when we feel less than.
PS. If you have chosen to support me and I haven’t reached out to thank you, IT IS COMING. I’m unbelievably grateful for all of the generosity that has been shown. I’d much rather send hand-written cards than shoot over an email, so please be patient with my snail mail abilities.
